sweety and beauty
7.20.2007
i ran into two really funny Indian girls' names yesterday during filing time: Sweety and Beauty. hahaha. made me laugh. totally normal last names but, oh the things people name their children...
filing.
7.12.2007
sometimes i think that i will go to my grave filing or doing some kind of admin. work. okay, not to be morbid, but paper and organization is my specialty after 4 years of college working for the religion department. and, it seems, without any other 'specialty' i find myself stuck with it again and again.
okay, this week i brought it on myself. and actually, the mindless work that i'm doing and passing the afternoons in Sib's office is enjoyable. well, not the dry and dirty fingers that i get after thumbing through a million sheets of paper or the indent in my middle finger i get from labeling files for hours on end, but i love it that it's mindless (so i can let my mind wander) and that i actually feel like i'm doing something.
it's really hard for me to not really have anything to do. it's been hard to allow myself to (how did Anne Lamott say it?) "practice radical inefficiency" this year. in other words: rest.
but, we were created to do things, to work, so part of this is finding a balance between rest and doing. so this week i got sick, sick, sick of not having anything to do. Sib has been drowning in child sponsorship stuff -- kids' profiles needing checked and finding their homes in the file cabinets and their letters getting off to their sponsors. so, you see someone drowning, several people have helped and she's still up to her chin in CS files ... and you really don't have anything to do (and with only 8 people on campus, you're getting supremely and easily bored) except wait for emails, you offer a hand and the water level falls a bit.
my ambitious goal is to be finished labeling and filing the Indian and Bangladeshi kids by tomorrow. the stack's pretty high and i have a meeting at 3. we'll see. :-)
but, i'm learning as i go. i love it. some of the Nepalese kids' families make the equivalent of 75-100 USD. per year. i'm gaining a bigger awareness of the sheer need of the world. just as i sit and file. Sib puts up with my random questions (like, 'how much is a Nepalise rupee worth?'), we sing along to the old school songs on the radio and talk about how worth it it is -- to do the admin and dirty (and b-o-r-i-n-g) work -- for the faces we see. so, if that means looking at adorable pictures of teeny Indian boys and Arabic girls and cracking up at the all of the "Shenkos" and "Al Hammans" and "Dhases" (you can totally tell from what area they're from by their names ... Russian, Arabic and Indian respectively), well, i'm okay with it. plus, i've actually made it until 5pm without wanting to fall asleep or go out of my mind with boredom.
filing. i really pray that it's not my fate. but, that's not really in my hands.
okay, this week i brought it on myself. and actually, the mindless work that i'm doing and passing the afternoons in Sib's office is enjoyable. well, not the dry and dirty fingers that i get after thumbing through a million sheets of paper or the indent in my middle finger i get from labeling files for hours on end, but i love it that it's mindless (so i can let my mind wander) and that i actually feel like i'm doing something.
it's really hard for me to not really have anything to do. it's been hard to allow myself to (how did Anne Lamott say it?) "practice radical inefficiency" this year. in other words: rest.
but, we were created to do things, to work, so part of this is finding a balance between rest and doing. so this week i got sick, sick, sick of not having anything to do. Sib has been drowning in child sponsorship stuff -- kids' profiles needing checked and finding their homes in the file cabinets and their letters getting off to their sponsors. so, you see someone drowning, several people have helped and she's still up to her chin in CS files ... and you really don't have anything to do (and with only 8 people on campus, you're getting supremely and easily bored) except wait for emails, you offer a hand and the water level falls a bit.
my ambitious goal is to be finished labeling and filing the Indian and Bangladeshi kids by tomorrow. the stack's pretty high and i have a meeting at 3. we'll see. :-)
but, i'm learning as i go. i love it. some of the Nepalese kids' families make the equivalent of 75-100 USD. per year. i'm gaining a bigger awareness of the sheer need of the world. just as i sit and file. Sib puts up with my random questions (like, 'how much is a Nepalise rupee worth?'), we sing along to the old school songs on the radio and talk about how worth it it is -- to do the admin and dirty (and b-o-r-i-n-g) work -- for the faces we see. so, if that means looking at adorable pictures of teeny Indian boys and Arabic girls and cracking up at the all of the "Shenkos" and "Al Hammans" and "Dhases" (you can totally tell from what area they're from by their names ... Russian, Arabic and Indian respectively), well, i'm okay with it. plus, i've actually made it until 5pm without wanting to fall asleep or go out of my mind with boredom.
filing. i really pray that it's not my fate. but, that's not really in my hands.
a quote from Amber Drake
Amber, an exchange student who just left posted this note and i was writing today about this exact thing. i needed to plagiarize for spiritual purposes. :-) [amber, ha, if you ever read this, know that i'm quoting you.]
"In this, Henri Nouwen say, 'we learn to look fully into our losses, not evade them. By greeting life's pains with something other than denial we may find something unexpected. By inviting God into our difficulties we ground life-- even its sad moments-- in joy and hope.' This is entire sanctification. Not that we are whole or even that we understand wholeness, but that we move into relationship with God with our whole selves, everything that we are, and ground our life in Him."
"In this, Henri Nouwen say, 'we learn to look fully into our losses, not evade them. By greeting life's pains with something other than denial we may find something unexpected. By inviting God into our difficulties we ground life-- even its sad moments-- in joy and hope.' This is entire sanctification. Not that we are whole or even that we understand wholeness, but that we move into relationship with God with our whole selves, everything that we are, and ground our life in Him."
squirrel-watching and other life things
7.09.2007
i saw a squirrel this morning.
you wouldn't think it was so significant, unless i told you why. i think squirrel watching/chasing is one of my favorite pastimes. i remember staring out my bedroom window from the house on alpine drive watching them fly up the trees. they're great! even the stubby tail one -- he was around the neighborhood for a few years.
i've never seen one here in buesingen, or in europe, which was surprising to me. taking note of this last fall, i remember mentioning their seeming lack of existence here and missed them. weird, i know, but true. this morning, i have to say, everything in the world seemed okay when i was absorbed in squirrel-watching. i forgot that it was 7am, that i was tired, alone and that the EuNC clan is ever dwindling. (i can, no kidding, count the campus dwellers on 10 fingers. that's it ... soon to be 8.) i'm used to at least 40.
it's kinda been lonely. kinda makes me want to just pack up and go.
and then in church yesterday, i was thinking about this place, how it's the norm to me now and how i'll miss it and i shouldn't be so quick to wish it away. i don't really even know where i'm going in the next months, but i think this waiting time is kind of a blessing instead. it's hard to leave and waiting to leave is even harder, but slowly i'm getting more and more ready. this is good.
so, my life-in-transition looks like the following: lots of reading, writing letters and emails, waiting for the phone to ring or an addition to my inbox, talking to God about others and trusting Him with whatever will happen in my life, wishing the rain would go away, dreaming about suntans and swims in the Rhine, and fellowshipping with the very few people that are left.
like, tonight, it's 4 of us. dinner, simply for the joy of cooking and then enjoying food and each other. this is my prayer and goal: to spend each day to its fullest. not always accomplish-able, but well worth the effort.
especially when August 20th comes around.
you wouldn't think it was so significant, unless i told you why. i think squirrel watching/chasing is one of my favorite pastimes. i remember staring out my bedroom window from the house on alpine drive watching them fly up the trees. they're great! even the stubby tail one -- he was around the neighborhood for a few years.
i've never seen one here in buesingen, or in europe, which was surprising to me. taking note of this last fall, i remember mentioning their seeming lack of existence here and missed them. weird, i know, but true. this morning, i have to say, everything in the world seemed okay when i was absorbed in squirrel-watching. i forgot that it was 7am, that i was tired, alone and that the EuNC clan is ever dwindling. (i can, no kidding, count the campus dwellers on 10 fingers. that's it ... soon to be 8.) i'm used to at least 40.
it's kinda been lonely. kinda makes me want to just pack up and go.
and then in church yesterday, i was thinking about this place, how it's the norm to me now and how i'll miss it and i shouldn't be so quick to wish it away. i don't really even know where i'm going in the next months, but i think this waiting time is kind of a blessing instead. it's hard to leave and waiting to leave is even harder, but slowly i'm getting more and more ready. this is good.
so, my life-in-transition looks like the following: lots of reading, writing letters and emails, waiting for the phone to ring or an addition to my inbox, talking to God about others and trusting Him with whatever will happen in my life, wishing the rain would go away, dreaming about suntans and swims in the Rhine, and fellowshipping with the very few people that are left.
like, tonight, it's 4 of us. dinner, simply for the joy of cooking and then enjoying food and each other. this is my prayer and goal: to spend each day to its fullest. not always accomplish-able, but well worth the effort.
especially when August 20th comes around.
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