A Ruined American (part 1)

Haiti ruined me.

Ruined my worldview, my perspective, my thoughts, my colored glasses ... my life.

I need to publicly apologize to my husband and my child and any other family and friends. I'm ruined - it makes living (American) life a little more complicated.

I was reading Simpler Living, Compassionate Life the other day and the thought struck me. I make a horrible American. I hardly can throw plastic packaging or the lids of plastic containers in the trash without thinking about it. I mean thinking about it. Thinking about the implications of where it will go, why I have to throw it away (do I?) and how a billion of those little things will add up really quickly. I find myself feeling guilty that I don't live in more sustainable ways, and I can't help but think of the the many faceless, underpaid factory workers who made the clothes in my closet. And having 15 pairs of shoes isn't many by American standards but is beyond excessive for others.

I'm ruined.

I still hold an American passport. I don't believe that war is the best answer, but I absolutely respect the sacrifice that men and women in our Armed Forces have made. I can still sing the national anthem with pride - albeit tempered. But, I am a ruined American.

I'm not sure I would care beyond consuming if I hadn't left for Haiti ten years ago. Going there has played a huge part in the change of my worldview.

There's the crazy consumerism end.

And then the zero-waste people.

I'd like to fall somewhere in between the extremes. But, I really would like the continuum to lean to the latter.

Yeah. I know, my husband is snorting and raising his eyebrows right now. "You would like to what?!"

(to be continued... )

First world problems.

I was bored the other day. I even hate saying that I was bored, because you might say, "Well, what's your problem?! Use your time wisely. Make the most of what you have, for heaven's sake!"

And I'd say, "Well, it was a bored/restless feeling." I was stressed out about the job situation (lack thereof), feeling a little down, needing a pick-me-up or something. There were still several hours before Jeremy would make it home (in fact, I think he'd just left) and I needed to get the girl and myself out of the house.

So. I went shopping.

Before I even left the house, I knew going shopping wouldn't make me happy. I knew it wouldn't make me feel better. I knew it wouldn't satisfy me. But, knowing all of this, I still charged right through - ignoring my feelings - for some retail therapy. Knowing I really should sit with it and relax and maybe go for a walk, I went ahead, hopped in the car, and drove away to look at furniture, rugs and vases.

It didn't help.

Funny, how I did it anyway. Funny how I shop instead of think. Shop instead of feel. This is so ... "consumeristic" of me. So typically female. So American.

I normally avoid this, but I fell right back into the easy way and old habits die hard.

I ask myself, "Is this the example I want to be setting for my child?" (No.) "Is this what I want her to turn to when she's feeling down?" (No.) "Is stuff really going to make anything better?" (No.)

Is this how I want to live my life?

No.

******

Hop on over to Rage Against the Minivan and read this funny and insightful post about raising kids in the first world. It's something I think about quite often and have no idea how I am going to accomplish raising my children in our world of stuff and more and more stuff, but I'm going to try. More on this to come.

Progress reports (3): more antiques

The grandparents have sweetly let us borrow their antique highchair for her to use. (I wanted one just like this to use and they had one already). However, it is very slippery and she is a tiny bit short for it yet. We are using a borrowed Bumbo chair to feed her for now and when I get a little cushion made for the seat, we'll be able to sit her in it without her sliding too far. I need to make a pattern for the cushion. Any suggestions how to go about pattern making?

here's a little antique school chair, graciously given to me from the teens at church (it didn't sell at their garage sale fundraiser) via an older couple whose grandchildren used to play with it. isn't it cute? until Ladybug can use it, i'm thinking of fun and practical ways to put it to use!

finally, this one is from Jeremy. his grandma used to have a black rotary phone just like this and he was even excited to pick this up from an antique store going out-of-business sale. the cord may need to be replaced, but we might even get a landline and use it! can you still use these old guys? hope so!

that's all for now, folks. come back soon for more antique/vintage love!

Progress reports (2): garden!

(click here to compare: my first garden post of 2011)

the pole beans are growing beautifully!
one pepper plant has died (still needs to be replaced).
the garlic finally flowered. 
my flowers are slightly wilty from this heat (hope to revive them with more frequent watering and a little love)
and I can't wait to harvest something. so excited!

pole beans

slightly wilty flowers

beans and tomatoes! so yummy!

Progress reports (1): record player

this week is the week for PROGRESS REPORTS! so, I've been out of school for 5 years and now that it's summer I'm getting my progress reports in.

*****

remember my 25 cent gem?  i have been slowly chipping away at it (literally) and finally drug it outside to see how it would sand down.

my Google detective husband tracked down that it's from 1946 and some of these Bendix record players are collectibles. ours may be too water damaged to be worth much but we connected a wire, plugged it in, and it spins! (it also gives off an electrical fence-like shock when you touch the metal parts and gets really hot and smelly. so we quickly turned it off and unplugged it.)

but, we both think there is hope for our little record player.

here's the progress. definitely has some work still, but it's coming along!

took the door off for sanding.

looking better!

trim: not sanded vs. sanded

I'm still considering paint colors but leaning towards a golden yellow. Bright shiny red did go through my head, but I think it might hang around our living room for awhile and red wouldn't match... what do you think?