I've read...

... that you have to introduce and prepare your other children for arrival of a new baby. Well, Jackson is the only thing that comes close to our "other child" so I have involved him in the process.

And the winner is....!!!

























Sa vre (it's true!) We have a daughter growing. Can't wait to meet her!! (And neither can Jackson!) :-)

20 week ultrasound

Here Baby is!! Look at that sweet little nose. :-)

not sure about the whole touching the belly thing.

I ran across 10 comebacks for "When People Annoyingly Touch Your Belly". I liked about 8 of them. Enjoy. :-)
1. Careful, you’ll wake the baby!

2. If you think that’s something, you should feel my butt.

3. Be careful. It kicks.

4. I had a big lunch.

5. My husband did it.

6. Hey, I’m not Buddha.

7. That'll be ten bucks.

8. Can I rub your belly now?

Officially Half Way.

Amen, glory Hallelujah. :-) I am happy! 20 weeks and now *officially* on the count down. (I realize though, 40 is still a long way off, BUT STILL!) Around 10 oz. and 6-1/2 inches. Baby is getting big!

This Wednesday we find out what Baby is!! Boy or Girl? Girl or Boy? I am so super excited. If Baby decides not to cooperate this time, I am afraid that I will be sorely disappointed. I don't think I'll cry ... but I am very ready to buy cute little clothes. And plan the decor. And pick a name. And call Baby "him" or "her". Please pray that Baby is still doing well.

Jeremy and I *might* have felt Baby yesterday during the world cup game (USA vs. England). Is it a sign? Haha, an indication of a future soccer player? Jeremy might hope so. :-) But we don't know. Our child will be who he or she is. Anyway, it kind of felt like this pulsing sensation in one spot on my belly. But it wasn't my PULSE because it wasn't constant. And it kept going here and there in the same spot for quite awhile (not gas?) Maybe. I'm still not completely convinced. I'm excited to know for sure!!



















Randoms: those jeans still fit (happy!). For everything else, I have a Be Band to hold up my unbottoned pants - esp because my stomach still hurts every day, it's just really uncomfortable to try to button pants over a belly that is just a little bit too big. I bought my only pair of shorts at Target last week - I am SUPER happy with this purchase - hopefully my only other maternity purchase. I'm trying to wear everything else until I absolutely can't. Hopefully that will be until October 30!! :-) And, I really need to eat healthier. Fruit please?!

Check back Wednesday for the big reveal!!

oh, the crafty things.

i've done a bit of sewing lately in my sweltering (sweat shop?) craft room (a.k.a. our bedroom). but wasn't it worth it? here is a glimpse of a few things I've made.

first, purse kleenex holders. (for all you non-runny nosed or i-don't-cry people, this is irrelevant, but for allergy sufferers, rejoice!)













then, a six-pocket bag I've been puzzling over and planning for months.













i really like it! except it was supposed to be (in my head at least) diaper bag size. um, it's not. even. close. it's only about 12 inches wide ... so off to make another when I'm inspired to try again. but i learned good things to remember! (like remembering to line up all of the seams. OOPS!) :-)













that's all for this edition! come back soon. :-) (and thanks for reading)

almost half way!

hey. :-) here is me and Baby, 19 weeks.



















the Mister and I went to April's wedding yesterday. he doesn't like them so much. i do. :-) especially the dress and the cake. yes, siree.













(me & the bride)

i had a funny experience - the first time anyone (stranger) has commented on my belly. probably because my dress showed it off a little more - then i ate like a horse at the wedding. and it was 95 degrees outside and i was sucking down water.

the conversation went like this:

MAN: "so, I've gotten in trouble saying this before, but you ARE pregnant, aren't you?"

(*his adult daughter was grimacing and covering her face before he even said it.*)

ME, laughing: "you're in luck this time because I am. I don't really mind ... I'm actually excited that I'm showing!"

<>

I am going back to work part time tomorrow at my former (and current) employee, Integrity Management (Docs Who Care) and hoping that my stomach will behave and I will feel okay.

Some of my pregnancy details, in no certain order:

*Cravings have not been super frequent but included many fried potatoes (with lots of ketchup!) Chinese orange chicken and ice cream cones. And I really like eating meat. And Doritos. And pickles.

*I have been waking up almost every 2-3 hours to use the potty. This is supposed to happen in the 1st and 3rd trimesters, but who knows? Baby must be sitting on my bladder!

*I can't sleep on one side too long, and I have to adjust my tummy (even though it's not very big!). I mostly always feel a little bit sick laying down.

*Jeremy always comments about my "prego belly". It makes me laugh.

*I'm still working on getting my leg strength and muscles back into a bit more shape. Long walks at the dog park and leisurely bike rides around the neighborhood are helping.

*I try not to talk about "my pregnancy" too much in conversation with friends. Unfortunately, it ends up coming up a lot.

*I woke up early on Saturday and decided to scout out some garage sales for vintage treasures and anything baby-neutral I could find. I found some vintage-y stuff (will post!) but it was either VERY girly stuff or VERY boy stuff. Nothing in between. I was so tempted to buy the 50-cent pink onesies, but I refrained. Please, applaud. There is nothing like waiting and wanting to know what he/she is!! 9 days until we know. :-)

*We both worry if the baby is okay. I haven't felt movement yet - only laid on the couch imagining that the tickles in my tummy are the baby. But every time we go to the doctor and have an ultrasound, the heart is beating and Baby is moving. And I still feel sick to my stomach pretty much every day - not that that means everything is okay, but it does mean that I'm still pregnant! Hormones. Gotta love 'em. (Or not.)

*We are happy that half-way is almost here. Woo hoo!

18 and growing.

Heyyy!! Happy long weekend everyone!

Here I am at 18 weeks (please excuse the sickly tired face, I really am doing okay) - grow baby grow! Only 2-1/2 more weeks until we find out if our little Shunky is a boy or girl.

We're excited.

pretty things - 1st edition

some pretty things around my house recently...

































































(pretty vintage things for my imaginary Etsy shop.)


































































































(pretty anniversary things post-celebrations.)

























(pretty natural thing from my very own garden - baby basil & my first ripe strawberries!)

May 24, 2010

tomorrow we're celebrating the day we said "i do" 2 years ago. i've had 2 years with a really great guy. after a yummy meal out on saturday, we took the chance to get some :family: photos.

(the furry boy was behaving quite well, so you'll see that we took our chance to pose with him too.)














gotta love the candids! (even an adorably photogenic puppy can have not-cute pictures. see below. hehe!)























































Love you, Mr.!

17 going on 40.

:-)

week 17! (and, for the record: no, Jeremy, I'm NOT sticking it out ... even though I still could use all the help I can get looking pregnant.)

a boy or a girl?

what do you think?! we're taking bets. ;-)















I lie. Actually we aren't.
















Babe decided that 16 1/2 weeks was too early to make the gender call. First the cord was in the way, then the Little Critter decided to stick a hand right there.

Modest Girl?
Typical Boy?

Not sure yet! We will find out (hopefully, provided Babe cooperates) on June 16 at 20 1/2 weeks. Stay tuned 'til then!

2 parental captions, Photograph 1:
1.
"Jeremy, I only see 4 fingers!"

"Just like Bart Simpson!"

(insert laughing. Jeremy comes over to peer at the picture.)

"Lisa, there is a THUMB."

"Oh."

2.
"Jeremy, so what do you think it is?"

(very swiftly) "I think it's a boy, now."

"Oh really?" (raised eyebrows) "How's that?"

"The face. It looks like a boy."

(me, snorting...)

Sweet 16, baby.

We surprised my parents (his idea - SUPER!) this weekend by driving "up the street" six hours. Jeremy wanted to get away from KC, but we weren't sure how my motion sickness and tummy would handle it.

Ends up I handled it perfectly! :-) Much to everyone's happiness. Esp. mine. Yay for fun weekends. Jeremy and Dad are out shooting and fishing and Mom and I are going for breakfast and maybe hit a few garage sales.

:-) 16 weeks, we are!

Week 15

My goal is to post the week-by-week belly shots by the end of each weekend. Failure this weekend.

(Am I getting any bigger? Am I? Am I?)



















My excuse this weekend is that I just felt yuck yesterday. Actually, I felt pretty good when I woke up, but riding 1/2 hour to church both ways and some other tummy issues (thank you Zofran - I hope I can get rid of you soon!) had me feeling icky. But lately "icky" is so much more tolerable than 7 weeks ago. SO. MUCH. MORE.

It's like comparing the "cures". My cure lately is lying on the couch, resting (still able to eat and drink and walk around). My cure 7 weeks ago was lying in a hospital bed (not able to do much of anything). So, really, it's good.

And, I had a great day on Saturday, complete with garage sale-ing (a.k.a. treasure hunting) with my honey, beautiful sunshine, and seeing Molly at her graduation open house. Not to mention eating BBQ and drinking water and feeling good about it! :-) Despite how great it was, I think I overdid myself and felt it on Sunday, but I'm okay with that.

16 weeks coming soon - and an ultrasound picture!

"Jeremy, the baby DOES have arms and legs now (not to mention other parts too!)."

Number Two!!

No. There really is only one baby in there. But with that babe I'm in my second trimester as of today!!

Here is "the bump", week 4 or 5. (I know, there is no bump there, but I'm calling it that. So you have something to compare to.)



















And here are we today! Week 14. I think we're making progress. What do you think? :-)



















And here is our latest photo of Baby Shunk at 9 weeks. It's been about 5 weeks since then, so Baby should be looking more and more human! Here he/she is 2.6 centimeters - TINY! Now, he/she should be 3-1/2 inches or so. Next sonogram is 16 weeks, so I'll share more pictures then!
















Dear Jesus, please make the nausea go away. For good. Love, Lisa

Yes, it's true.

Hello friends!

If you've come here from Facebook or via email, welcome!! So glad you stopped by. If you are wondering if what I'm going to announce is that Baby Shunk is on the way ... you would be right!

I'm 13.5 weeks pregnant with Baby and so far everything is going well. Unless, of course, you factor in that I've been sicker than 99.5% of all pregnant women this first trimester. But if we just talk Baby, as far as we know, he/she is doing great! Heartbeat is strong and we've seen him/her on the sonogram screen as a little 2.6cm blip growing normally. Should be the size of a peach this week.

Saturday I start into the 2nd trimester! Glory, hallelujah. I'm praying that with that comes relief from the annoying nausea that's still holding on.

Wait, let me back up.

((So, this ISN'T my pregnancy blog, although it will probably be updated until October mostly that way. Yes! Due date: October 30, 2010."Why?" you might ask. "Well," I would say, "I have two friends who've left me for Asia, several friends in Europe, and plenty of family who won't be able to see the progress in the next few months." Mostly, it's for them, but if you wish to follow, please do! I'll write for you too. :-) And, if you live anywhere in the Midwest and want to swing by Kansas City on your way somewhere to see the baby belly, feel free. But don't come yet. I don't have anything to show.))

So I've been diagnosed with hyperemesis of pregnancy, and frankly, it stinks. I've spent 6 of the last 7 weeks throwing up, force feeding, and crying miserable because I've been so sick. It's been sort of like a bad stomach flu combined with motion sickness and a migraine without the headache. I couldn't eat, drink, read, write, watch tv, get online, or sometimes even talk without being horribly sick. 8 days of March were spent in the hospital getting IV fluid and nutrition. 10 lbs gone off my already thin frame.

All of that to say, I do believe I am finally on the mend. I did have to quit work for 2 months - something a bit stressful on our family and finances, but I'm hoping to go back mid-May. I still am working on building up my ability to be in front of a computer for several hours (something my job requires) without feeling too sick and my stamina. But I am feeling 350% better and I'm up 6 pounds. I'm able to eat and drink fluids on my own and get around the house well. I've even been cooking and doing the dishes.

So, this post is more about me than the Baby, but that's been the story. One day we'll look back and it will be only that: a story. I will feel normal, be able to run around and go-go-go and ride in the car without thinking twice.

As for now... I am contemplating everything I take for granted while I feel well. Many of us do. But more on that later.

So as for now, we've made Baby public. :-) Ask all the questions you'd like. (And yes, pictures will be posted shortly).

Haiti Snippet - Dega Je - Do what you can with what you have!

Such a great teeny little video about a little boy and his bike in England.

:-)

Facebook quote

If anyone wants to know where God is today- He's pinned under rubble, he's hurt and afraid, he's hungry and homeless in Haiti.

Inside the Box

I'd really like to be the one who is artistically and creatively out of the box. Someone who inspires people to think deeply - to step out and be confidently themselves. And be one who doesn't care what people think if her own notions are so "out there."

I'm still so 'inside the box.'

'So there's 'out of the box' which is often merely a variation of the same thing. And then there are those who think and feel and live and create from a different place. They've had their boxes smashed until they had no other option but to imagine a totally new tomorrow.'

~Rob Bell, Drops Like Stars

***

And tell me Rob Bell, why, why does it take smashed boxes to imagine a new tomorrow? Why can't it come out of the passion of being, rather than suffering? Why smashed and not whole?

Why?

New Series: Drops Like Stars - Vol. 1

Rob Bell's books always inspire me. His last two have been incredibly thought-provoking. Not to mention his Nooma videos - which I also love and have been wanting to start a small group around (which might happen soon! we will see).

So if you haven't picked up Jesus Wants to Save Christians or Drops Like Stars, I recommend them. Highly. I didn't even know that the latter (Bell's latest book) even existed, but lo and behold, thanks to my fantastic husband, I opened it on Christmas morning.

Want to borrow it? You should!


I've decided that my life isn't always as thought provoking as I would like - sometimes there are days and days at a time when I don't really have any good thoughts - let alone things to write down. Thus, reading a great book and responding is my way of "thinking good thoughts". Even if they don't come out profoundly.

And, actually, I HAVE been thinking a lot lately. About life and work and passion and contentment and suffering and creativity ... so, why not? Responding gives me a platform to jump from. So, ya ready? I'm jumpin'! And here's the first food for thought:

(Will be back soon.)

"There's a phrase we use when we're describing something we consider new and fresh and unexpected. We say it's 'out of the box'. The problem with the phrase is that when something or someone is judged to be in or out of 'the box,' it reveals that 'the box' is still our primary point of reference. We're still operating within the prescribed boundaries and assumptions of how things are supposed to be. 'Out of the box' is sometimes merely another way of being 'in the box.'

And then there are those who come from a totally different place. They ask another kind of question:


'There's a box?'

~Rob Bell, Drops Like Stars

dirt.

sometimes we have to deal with a little "dirt" in our lives.


sometimes we have to deal with a LOT.















and we can, yes we can, become clean again. THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE.

RE: India

**So, a friend from Haiti is still reading through his inbox ... and I got a note replying to this (see below) email. It's from May 2007! However, I enjoyed reading it again, laughed at him, and thought I'd post it for you to see too.

May 2007: Visited Pune, India at a Nazarene Youth Congress.

______________________________________________


I'm convinced, despite its economical state, India is rich.
Last week, while reflecting on the six days I spent there, I realized that the richness I discovered wasn't complete without experiencing it through all of my senses -- and I was able to go and do this, in part, because of your support, financially, through prayer and encouragement. Thank you! The rest I can thank God for; He has blessed me so much this year!

Toting our own personal rolls of toilet paper, more skirts than I've ever worn in one week and communications seminar materials, Simone (Miss Amazing Writer) and I (Simone's Sidekick) flew to Mumbai (Bombay) on May 16. Our site for the Nazarene Youth Congress was on a Bible school campus in Pune, India, about a four-hour bus-ride from the airport. As soon as we deplaned, it was obvious that we'd left the cool and clean land of Switzerland (and western Europe for that matter) and entered into the world of humidity, mosquitoes and rickshaws. Yet it is a place where spirituality is an essential of life and where God is working to draw more people to Himself.

Feeling India. In Switzerland, our crackly skin requires daily lotioning. I've decided that "humidity" is almost synonymous with India -- our hair and skin were completely without need of anything but air. May and June are the warm season in the country that houses one sixth of the world's population and we were smack dab in the middle of it. Fortunately, it was only about 30-35' C in Pune (90-95' F) instead of 45 (113'F!) as some participants said they'd come from. It was still HOT, but we were blessed, most nights, with cool breezes and if not there was enough electricity to run our ceiling fans all night.

Western girls in India, no matter if we were "disguised" in Indian clothing, are an attraction, and as I expected, we felt eyes following us wherever we went. However, most were not inhospitable stares. We were drenched in hospitality from the Indian people, maybe because we were foreigners, but the care was obvious.
"Have you eaten breakfast? Do you need more?"
"Take my seat."
"Oh, you look so beautiful in your Indian clothing!"
"Thank you so much for coming and talking to us."

Tasting India. Without a doubt, Indian food is unique and I loved it. The first afternoon we went for lunch after waking up very late, we were alone in the dining hall. Given no utensils, it was obvious that we were supposed to use our fingers to eat, but neither Simone nor I knew how and no one was around for us to subtly spy on for tips. The next meal we confessed our ignorance and had several people show us how to eat rice with our fingers -- not without a mess, but so fun! Curry sauces and more rice, white bread and chipate (tortilla-like flat bread) than I've ever eaten before. Some of the sauces were spicier than others -- yum(!) but every meal my runny nose reminded me of the heat. Fruit (not to mention veggies) was rare, but the bananas and mango slices we did have were a treat! We drank and drank and drank and drank bottle after bottle of water. No dehydration. Praise Jesus.

Smelling India. Third-world smells, if you've never experienced them, I've found are very similar, even on the other side of the world. On the windy and dirty bus-ride to and from Mumbai, smells assailed us. Some of the unkind smells (trash and sewer and diesel exhaust) were obvious but other smells I recognized from my time in Haiti but were undefinable beyond "familiar". New smells of fried chipate and curry sauces filled the air before mealtimes, roasted nuts along the street and even the smell of the wet air after a thunderstorm! The thunderstorm was a special treat -- none of those in my Swiss village.

Seeing India. India is undeniably beautiful. And the beauty is the people. Dark skin, shiny black hair and tiny children. The land is brown and green and cities dirty and grey, but the bougainvillea flowers in bright pinks and oranges save the landscapes. Not to mention the extraordinary and colorful dress of the women. Eastern fashion was so fun to observe -- flowing sarees and salwar kameezes (a typical Indian outfit -- pants and long tunic tops with a scarf cover) paired with sparkly jewelry. Add that to traditional dancing and I had a moment of realization that probably nothing will ever duplicate what I was experiencing. If I would smile, faces would light up -- the beauty of the creation of people was so evident.

Hear India. Honking car and rickshaw horns kept us awake the night we drove in -- the driving was insane. (Simone commented that if her brothers had grown up in India, they wouldn't have needed to play video games, they'd just need to drive!) A bird, which at first we couldn't quite peg as a monkey or a bird, sang to us and the skinny campus cat screeched at all hours. Lilting songs (amazing what they could do with their voices) and beat of the drums added new sensory worship experiences, Hindi and chatter from local dialects filled the times when English was not spoken (although as English as its second language, India is a place friendly to native English speakers!), cheers from competitive cricket games, laughter, hallelujahs and more filled our ears.

Amidst all of the almost overwhelming surroundings, we saw God, asked for his help, interviewed people and taught four seminars on communications -- attempting to convey the importance of telling our stories. Stories of what God is doing in our lives and communities so that our own people and the world might hear and know and believe.

Wedded Bliss (or something like that)

SO two weekends ago, my BFF Elizabeth got married to her Mike.


They're a good pair. Trust me. (*wink)


And I got to freeze whilst taking these pictures outside. Yet! I will not complain. It was the only not rainy day in weeks (and seriously, my calves/thighs were sore for 3 days ... after "walking" on squishy ground in those heels!) and I got to be in some of the pictures.


Yay for me and yay for them. Ha.





















And, um, pretty much, their photographer was amazing. Click the picture to see more of Erica Rankin's work that day! They said she was good ... but holy crap. She's AMAZING.

:-)


*sigh* BFF is married off... phew!

summer

I really do like summer.

But I have to admit that it's much more fun when you're a kid. And it's SUMMER. And it lasts SO long! And you can't wait to get out of school ... and then back to school!

WAIT! back to summer. My summer means full-time work. Watching the hired mowers cutting the grass. Turning my heater on when 71 degrees is too cold for me. Wishing I was home.

But sometimes it's...

Finding your first ripe tomato!















Fresh green beans from your tiny garden.














Having a Jackson who loves to eat green beans. :-) Yes, he loves them.


















Summer. It's good. :-)

Fabio

an obvious boy/girl exchange this morning while I'm combing my hair.


J: "aw man, I can't imagine having hair that long."

L: "do you want hair this long?"

J: "no"

L: "Yeah, and I don't want hair as short as yours."

J: "Yeah. Well... if I had thick hair, I would like it long."

L: "EEEEEEEW."

J: "Ohh..... FABIO!!!" (Kiss on the cheek.)


No, Jeremy, I prefer bald men.
:-)

For Today...

Outside my window... drops of rain and wind-blown trees.

I am thinking... about going home.

From the learning rooms... why I can't be anything I want to be. I can only love being who I am designed to be.

I am thankful for... good people.

From the kitchen... week old brownies. :-)

I am wearing... my black $3 Ann Taylor LOFT shirt with tan & gold capris. Brown and Black -- I love you Europe!

I am reading... in blogland.

I am hoping... to have fun with my husband.

I am creating... living room curtains.

I am hearing... computer buzz and ladies talking.

Around the house... is my puppy and his hairballs.

One of my favorite things... laughing with my love.

A few plans for the rest of the week... seeing friends and a Saturday wedding.


Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...











Love from Slovenia. :-) Georgeous, isn't she?

number one

If you check out the picture two posts ago ... you may notice a white dress. :-)

May 24 we celebrated number ONE! And, honestly, it was surprising for both of us how special it was. Ha, we couldn't stop smiling at each other. And I pranced around in my wedding dress for a little bit.

It was our "paper" anniversary. So he put a gift (such a lovely gift!) in a pretty paper bag and I wrote love notes on a roll of toilet paper. To read when ... well, you know.

I'm not sure that I can put a finger on what made it so special, but it was like this intimate knowing that we'd made it through one (really tough) year and we really did love each other. I've heard this a ton ... but I do think that I love him more than I did last year.

A-mazing.

Not to say that we've not had our ups and downs ... but, it was just good. Thank you for your goodness God.

And thank you JEREMY LEE for loving me!!

:-)

about being you.

I unashamedly heart Henri Nouwen. Here's what he has to say about being you.

"Speak from that place in your heart where you are most yourself. Speak directly, simply, lovingly, gently and without any apologies. Tell us what you see and what us to see; tell us what you hear and want us to hear. Trust your own heart. The words will come. There is nothing to fear. Those who need you most will help you most. You can be sure I will."

"...hear these words spoken to you with all the tenderness and force that love can hold."

Something has changed. Am I more insecure? I want to write so badly, but (obviously) it doesn't happen. No inspiration in the last year of my life. However, I think, "Shouldn't it have been more inspiring than all the rest?" It wasn't.

It was angering, hurtful, confusing and depressing.

Well, not every part, but most.

And here I am, on the brink of something large, waiting, hoping and filled with anticipation of what the Father just might have in store for me.

"I've got more than you can even imagine." Really, seriously...? What could I imagine? Traveling? Ministering (for real)? Being a presence in peoples' lives? Doing something meaningful? Being a mom? Owning a creative business on the side? Inspiring people by... speaking??

There's a lot I can imagine, God. Surprise me. I'm yours.

it's been almost a year

i almost can't believe that i've neglected my blog for almost a year. (and geez, enough has happened)

and by "neglect" i really just mean, i-haven't-had-the-motivation-or-the-need-to-blog. plus, my husband read in his high-tech-y magazine that blogging was SO 2004. how intimidating is that? but actually, i think now, who cares? i'm feeling the need and really mommyBLOGS keep the world going 'round. i love them. i can't help it. must be the little mommy me inside. ha. (no worries, no babies yet...)

but another reason is, it's okay to blog now. i don't have to worry about being honest and having *someone* run into it that shouldn't be reading it. not that i would be writing anything horrible, it's just ... well... it's been the last year of my life. stifled. discouraged. wanting to beat a wall down but knowing it wouldn't help anything. 

and now, i sit, job-hunting, avoiding huge dog slobbers, and scouting out craigslist for good deals i still can't afford. i have friends, but they all have lives now. responsibility. KIDS. for heaven's sake! :-) it's a good time of life, but also confusing and hard. 

here's how it went.

quit job, moved to Idaho

had no friends, had no job

got married in May (*highlight*!)

got discouraged in June

stayed that way

made one friend

got a job in November

he got let go in December

moved to Kansas City

no job, some friends.

 May His light be our guiding path because at least I know, I haven't a clue.

more squirrel watching

so, maybe i have a secret love.

of squirrels.

seriously, it's strange. everytime i look out the window and see my little friends scampering outside, i just could sit and stare at them for awhile.

i think i was squirrel deprived. haiti, kansas, switzerland ... none can compare to my little waterloo, iowa front yard.

just the other night i watch a squirrel diligently carrying mouthfulls of leaves up and down, up and down to his (her?) nest in one of our trees. how he got all those leaves to STAY there all bunched up, is beyond me ....

i woke up the next morning and guess who i saw working away again? Mr. Squirrel.

it almost made me feel lazy. is that supposed to happen? squirrels making me feel lazy???

wow, weird.

good things

it's been awhile. blogging makes sense when you're in the midst of so-called "adventure". but ... i've just kind of faded into the midwestern sky after my year in Switzerland. and maybe that's what i needed -- to just fade into the distance for awhile.



but definitely it doesn't mean that my life isn't an adventure. it hasn't stopped and won't, i don't think. this is good. and also scary.



today i registered my car with the state of Iowa. got a driver's license, the whole she-bang. except that it cost me a GOOD $275 to do it. cars are EXPENSIVE! but here is a sneak peak at my new little toy ... the one I've been waiting for since I sold my first car at 17. seven years is a long time to wait.



so this car has been a HUGE answer to my prayers since September. i've borrowed a car since then and 5 months is definitely enough time to wait. and to borrow.

idaho, here i come!!! (end of march, stuffed full with my things, driving 1600+ miles, 22 hours in the car... lots of CDs to play.)

.:heart-shaped sugar cookies:.

usually, it's Mom and I. i remember in elementary school ... my mom, the coolest, would make heart-shaped sugar cookies with pink frosting. and she'd "write" every single classmate's first name on them. the next day, i would proudly bring them to school. getting a yummy cookie frosted personally for you is one thing ... but giving them out is another.

we'd make the dough and chill it. roll it out and start cutting hearts. my dad always would poke his face into the kitchen and while my mom wasn't looking i'd sneak him some dough.

oooooh, the joys of baking.

roll 'em out, cool 'em and frost 'em. and, of course, in the process, eat some dough, eat the broken ones (which may or may not've been broken on purpose) and lick the frosting off your fingers.

this year, however, Valentine's day will be one I spent alone. (my parents are in Haiti). tonight i made the cookies. i ate some dough and a broken one, frosted them and licked my fingers ... but without anyone to help or sneak cookie dough to, it's just not the same. tomorrow however, i bet giving them will be fun. grated, i didn't write all of the names of the mechanics in my office on them (that'd be a little weird.) but, nonetheless, they'll love 'em. big, dirty mechanics eating pink heart cookies. yeah, it's a one-up for me. pink hearts, white with red sparkles, and one special one. :-) :-)

The AMISH are coming!

You think the Amish stay in their communities and have only limited contact with the world. It's not true.

It was 7:14a and I was jarred out of a nice morning sleep that would've lasted until at least 9 o'clock if the noises coming thru my ceiling hadn't disturbed me. "Noises" sounds mild compared to the tyrannosaurus-rex pounding and scrapings we were serenaded out of bed this morning with. It wasn't even light enough to see the roof, let alone steal my sleep!

Okay, okay. So my dad told me they were coming. But I forgot ... I called him at work and yelled, "The Amish are coming!!" He had no pity. At least tomorrow I won't have a problem being to my new job on time. Geez.

However, Amish men on top of your house is kind of interesting. Beards, suspenders and all. I'm trying to convince my mom that it would be utterly annoying to be stared at by us, but she just laughs. And my curiousity has perked up too... I've read about these so-called "simple" people and really I do just want to go out and talk to them. See their reactions to me (a worldly girl) -- see what they would tell me, how honest they would be about their lifestyle. It really is intriguing.

In two days they'll be gone. I hope they like the oatmeal-raisin cookies I'm going to bake for them. And then, we'll have slept a little less, gotten out of the house a little more (especially when the air hammer starts shooting), but have a nice roof job to boot.

:-) and, today, i'm painting a garage. i KNOW all of you envy my exciting life. haha. until then.

garage sales.

so, tuesday this week, i talked my mom into a garage sale. (after it's all said and done, I'm avoiding being ALMOST sorry for being so convincing. I'm tired!) So, every day this week we worked our tails off trying to get ready for the big day. I found out today that when you have a garage sale you come across some interesting people!

Like:
- a little boy who walks up the driveway with his mom and yells, "HEY! Do you have any cars?!" (His mom explained apologetically that he was looking for Hot Wheels. I thought it was hilarious.)

- an old lady, with one eye closed, who wanted to buy a two-person outdoor glider chair and had no way to get it to her porch and the random, big-gut old guy in suspenders (putzing around, wasting time with his buddy, probably waiting for their wives at the hairdresser) who offered to drive it to her house for her.

- another old guy who sounded like 50 cents was ridiculous to pay for an 8-piece egg poacher set. (he bought it anyway.)

- five Amish women with three children and their "chauffeur" (i suppose because they aren't allowed to drive) who were so sweet and let my mom hold one of their SWEET baby girls while they 'shopped'.

- a girl (with her boyfriend) in a oversized marijuana t-shirt that read,
"God made weed.
Man made beer.
In God we trust."
(followed by the classic weed picture.)

oh, she bought a precious moments mug. haha.

- and, finally, last but not least (literally!), the skinny hippy old guy with long wiry hair and long dangly earrings and his girl who were SO excited to buy every last one of our jars of shells. shells, you might be interested to know, that were hand picked by us from black sand beaches in Hawaii. 25 cents a jar. they were thrilled.
"Oh! i make earrings outta these!"

More good times in the life of Lisa. Tune in soon for more next time.

white spots and asphyxiation

painting, painting.

this is my life. (well, it's probably not true, but bear with me here) my parents are, sweetly, paying me to paint. today was the first day that i think i hated myself for agreeing. we got up, i ate cereal, then we sanded, vacuumed, and painted sticky white primer in our sun-room. for basically the rest of the day.



this room needed a change. it was dark and ugly and ... well, i was convinced and used my convincing powers towards change. positive change. except this change involved me. painting. a LOT. and breathing in so much nastiness that i thought i probably shouldn't take a nap because i was afraid of not waking up. well, not quite, but it was pretty bad. (even now the smells of fresh paint are wafting through from the other side of the house. ick.)

BUT!! i learned a valuable lesson that you all should know about. this ooey, gooey sticky white primer is nasty stuff. but not only that, my mom mentioned that it was hard to get off of her arms.

it didn't register. until ... i was finished with the priming job (my mom long gone at an interview), covered with tiny white spots from the paint roller and exhausted from sanding, cleaning and painting. i was "washing" out the brush and the little plastic pour spout in our stainless steel kitchen sink when i realized, "OH. it's oil-based." the paint was just swirling around in the water. and sticking to the bottom. and my fingers.

now, for all of you 1) artists, familiar with oil paints and 2) people smarter than i you probably wouldn't have don't that. but i did.

i knew this: oil paint and water don't mix. but, i didn't pay any attention. until it was too late.

so, i ended up scraping the sink out with my fingernails (which are no longer as nicely shaped as the Asian man at the mall made them). and i learned my lesson. hmm.

Wie heissen sie? and getting out.

it was sunny today and i've decided that getting outside in Buesingen when the sun is showing its face is the only right thing to do. every time. so, i put on my swimming suit and headed toward the river. swimming in the rhine was glorious and i was very satisfied with my getting out. i was walking back to my apartment before i went to visit some friends for a good-bye bbq when i had a smile experience.

going up the back road were two blond kids, obviously brother and sister, riding on an amazing plastic tractor-ish toy. Sister was pedaling like crazy and Brother was sitting backwards in an attached plastic trailer 'helping' her by pushing along with his feet.

i caught up to them and had a wonderful conversation in most of a language that i didn't understand but they kept right on talking and didn't seem to notice.

I said (in German), "Hi! You are fast!"

Sister said (contextual interpretation), "Yeah, and I can go faster!" She proceeded to pedal even faster -- which was pretty good.

Then she slowed back down and said, "What's your name?"

"Lisa. And you?"

"Fabiana." And Brother turned around in his plastic trailer and said, "Timon".

Fabiana and Timon just kept talking and talking telling me about their friends or toys or games or something and i just kept nodding and smiling and waiting for a voice intonation and a pause telling me that i just missed a very important question.

It never came.

A few yards later they said, "We're going here," and turned off.

I smiled, said "Bye!" and went on my way.

************

I loved it. A whole German conversation with two little people who had NO clue that I wasn't a native Buesingen resident and we were all quite happy about that. And did I really need to know exactly about what they were babbling about in their friendly tone? No, not really. I just smiled and listened and i think that was what mattered. getting out and making meaningful contact with people is good for the soul. especially one in transition.

sad and getting sadder.

my blogger browser automatically comes up in German because we're connected to Swiss net. in 9 days it won't be that way at all. the countdown is well underway; my last day of work was yesterday. i'm going to Austria today, having a special thank-you lunch with Jill and seeing my favorite family tonight. i have exactly 9 days to do everything i want and see everyone i want to and say good-bye before i go. and my heart is nearly in pieces.

here's a random message quote i found on facebook from one mk to another (i hope these aren't copy-righted because at the moment i can sympathize.)

"It feels likes somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket
of boiling tears. And at the same time, somebody else is hitting my
soul in the crotch with a frozen sledge hammer. And then a third
guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone . . ."

Lord, have mercy.

schwimmin'

only 13 more days of possible swimming for me. and tonite the ugly rumor was circulating that it was going to get cooler and rainy -- so i had promised myself i would take advantage of the warm day turned night and go for it.

except, i didn't have anyone to swim with.

usually, this wouldn't be a problem. i know how to swim. but, swimming in the rhein river with its current -- you just have to be careful. but, no one was around to go with me so i forged ahead and went by myself.

now, you have to understand. the water is still about 20 degrees celsius. in american terms: pretty darn chilly. the weather hasn't been hot enough for the water to get too warm. but, nikolaj claimed it was "fresh" and would get rid of my tiredness (i'm not sure it did, but i went anyway). a chilly, 7:30pm swim, especially one alone, has to be geared up for. so i geared up.

and really, nothing compares to swimming in the river!! the current is amazing. and there were plenty of smart Swiss people taking in the last bit of the nice weather and river too before the rain comes. so i was safe. :-) and, it was lovely as usual.

sweety and beauty

i ran into two really funny Indian girls' names yesterday during filing time: Sweety and Beauty. hahaha. made me laugh. totally normal last names but, oh the things people name their children...

filing.

sometimes i think that i will go to my grave filing or doing some kind of admin. work. okay, not to be morbid, but paper and organization is my specialty after 4 years of college working for the religion department. and, it seems, without any other 'specialty' i find myself stuck with it again and again.

okay, this week i brought it on myself. and actually, the mindless work that i'm doing and passing the afternoons in Sib's office is enjoyable. well, not the dry and dirty fingers that i get after thumbing through a million sheets of paper or the indent in my middle finger i get from labeling files for hours on end, but i love it that it's mindless (so i can let my mind wander) and that i actually feel like i'm doing something.

it's really hard for me to not really have anything to do. it's been hard to allow myself to (how did Anne Lamott say it?) "practice radical inefficiency" this year. in other words: rest.

but, we were created to do things, to work, so part of this is finding a balance between rest and doing. so this week i got sick, sick, sick of not having anything to do. Sib has been drowning in child sponsorship stuff -- kids' profiles needing checked and finding their homes in the file cabinets and their letters getting off to their sponsors. so, you see someone drowning, several people have helped and she's still up to her chin in CS files ... and you really don't have anything to do (and with only 8 people on campus, you're getting supremely and easily bored) except wait for emails, you offer a hand and the water level falls a bit.

my ambitious goal is to be finished labeling and filing the Indian and Bangladeshi kids by tomorrow. the stack's pretty high and i have a meeting at 3. we'll see. :-)

but, i'm learning as i go. i love it. some of the Nepalese kids' families make the equivalent of 75-100 USD. per year. i'm gaining a bigger awareness of the sheer need of the world. just as i sit and file. Sib puts up with my random questions (like, 'how much is a Nepalise rupee worth?'), we sing along to the old school songs on the radio and talk about how worth it it is -- to do the admin and dirty (and b-o-r-i-n-g) work -- for the faces we see. so, if that means looking at adorable pictures of teeny Indian boys and Arabic girls and cracking up at the all of the "Shenkos" and "Al Hammans" and "Dhases" (you can totally tell from what area they're from by their names ... Russian, Arabic and Indian respectively), well, i'm okay with it. plus, i've actually made it until 5pm without wanting to fall asleep or go out of my mind with boredom.

filing. i really pray that it's not my fate. but, that's not really in my hands.

a quote from Amber Drake

Amber, an exchange student who just left posted this note and i was writing today about this exact thing. i needed to plagiarize for spiritual purposes. :-) [amber, ha, if you ever read this, know that i'm quoting you.]

"In this, Henri Nouwen say, 'we learn to look fully into our losses, not evade them. By greeting life's pains with something other than denial we may find something unexpected. By inviting God into our difficulties we ground life-- even its sad moments-- in joy and hope.' This is entire sanctification. Not that we are whole or even that we understand wholeness, but that we move into relationship with God with our whole selves, everything that we are, and ground our life in Him."

squirrel-watching and other life things

i saw a squirrel this morning.

you wouldn't think it was so significant, unless i told you why. i think squirrel watching/chasing is one of my favorite pastimes. i remember staring out my bedroom window from the house on alpine drive watching them fly up the trees. they're great! even the stubby tail one -- he was around the neighborhood for a few years.

i've never seen one here in buesingen, or in europe, which was surprising to me. taking note of this last fall, i remember mentioning their seeming lack of existence here and missed them. weird, i know, but true. this morning, i have to say, everything in the world seemed okay when i was absorbed in squirrel-watching. i forgot that it was 7am, that i was tired, alone and that the EuNC clan is ever dwindling. (i can, no kidding, count the campus dwellers on 10 fingers. that's it ... soon to be 8.) i'm used to at least 40.

it's kinda been lonely. kinda makes me want to just pack up and go.

and then in church yesterday, i was thinking about this place, how it's the norm to me now and how i'll miss it and i shouldn't be so quick to wish it away. i don't really even know where i'm going in the next months, but i think this waiting time is kind of a blessing instead. it's hard to leave and waiting to leave is even harder, but slowly i'm getting more and more ready. this is good.

so, my life-in-transition looks like the following: lots of reading, writing letters and emails, waiting for the phone to ring or an addition to my inbox, talking to God about others and trusting Him with whatever will happen in my life, wishing the rain would go away, dreaming about suntans and swims in the Rhine, and fellowshipping with the very few people that are left.

like, tonight, it's 4 of us. dinner, simply for the joy of cooking and then enjoying food and each other. this is my prayer and goal: to spend each day to its fullest. not always accomplish-able, but well worth the effort.

especially when August 20th comes around.

musings

i'm updating my blog. really, i should update more often. :-) but... then i realize how little clarity i actually have these days in matters of life and health and understanding God and His church and love and life and friends and change. but, despite it all i feel almost compelled to write even though i don't really have much to say. always a whole bunch of thoughts, but not always a whole lot i can clearly articulate.

i've been thinking that i should be an expert on some things by now. like making friends and then saying good-bye. i keep thinking that moving on and embracing life changes should come more easily the more i do it. but, i still cry. i still want to kick and scream. "NO! i don't want to leave! i don't want to change! i don't want to go through anothing stinking transition!" the only progress i've made is to recognize that i know to expect the tears. to expect the gut-wrenching good-byes. i expect the weird transitory feelings that i just can't place. i expect wanting to take in everything i can experience about the last days, but it never being enough.

why? because the people don't come with me. sure, they come in my heart and i can email them or talk on the phone, but it's not the same community. and it won't ever be. for me, when i've enjoyed a time in my life, a part of me wants to hold onto it forever -- the smells, the trees, (the chocolate), the style, the colors, the sounds or the special spots along the river or in town. and part of me knows that i really don't want to hold on, that there are even better things to come.

Still, each change is hard to get used to. God knows I'm slow. But what happens when i think about the new people i have yet to meet? the next step He has for me? the promises of "infinitely more than you can ask or even imagine"? i have found too much value in the past with how life-change has and can absolutely transform my life. and not even the gut-wrenching moments can keep me from moving forward. and from that vantage point, i have hope.

what will this be? this change? "it's inevitable, you know," i tell myself. "you can't be a volunteer forever." and it's time, i know it is.

but europe is a part of me now. the people here are dear to me. the face of God, although He often seemed hidden, has been here in front of me. He has walked beside me. and now i add these friends to my corresponding-long-distance-with list: these friends who will slowly slip out of my everyday life. i will miss my German family, Jillian in the office next to mine, tasting dark-chocolate-with-chili flavored ice cream, combating British spelling, singing my heart out to Chris Tomlin on the RCC second floor and listening to Nikolaj speak Russian on the phone and throwing in random English words with no translation. i'll miss driving over the rise of the highway and neuhausen/schaffhausen spread out with beautiful swiss-architecture along the rhine valley and cafe vordegasse. i'll miss spending 2 hours in fellowship over a coffee or tea and no one even blinking an eye at it.

i'll miss it. good. but, i won't miss not understanding the language. i won't miss my boyfriend or my family. i won't miss not making money. there are good things coming. better than i can imagine. God is good. this i believe and this i trust.i

plant update: day 40+

update on Parsley and Basil. they're getting bigger and i'm waiting to start cooking! but i also found out that Jill, my neighbor two apts down, has offered her rosemary, chives, oregano (and something else I've never heard of) for fresh herbs to cook with whenever i need! so, i'm set.

sleep

i love to sleep. especially lately. especially after india. for some reason, sleep has been my goal after the red-eye flight from mumbai. so my bed is my place to be.



the night we got into Mumbai and stepped off the bus for a roadside stop at the district office (for a tiny bit of food, a liter of water and a poddy break before we rode for 4 more hours), i went inside the house. the bus stopped outside of the house in the street about 3 or 4 yards behind another vehicle. the yellow street light buzzed and endless indian street chatter hummed. several busloads of people passed us at 1 in the morning, and i know that a busload of sweaty white girls wasn't unnoticed.

i walked back several times between the bus and the yellow gate to the house, but once, while i was stopping to wait for Simone, i stumbled upon something. i didn't disturb him, but realized when my eyes adjusted to the light (or lack of) i realized there was a man curled up on his side, fast asleep on his cot. in the middle of the street.

um, whoa. we were trodding in his bedroom.

this was probably one of the most surprising things to me -- something third-world that i hadn't seen before. and this man was not alone. as we drove through the rest of mumbai i realized that we were passing probably hundreds of people sleeping on the streets. a thin sheet separated some from the dirty ground and even without, groups of people slept side-by-side. this was their resting place.

i wondered outloud this morning how people could sleep with all of the noise. sib replied that they get used to it. tune it out. i don't know how they do it, but need rules out a lot of logistics.

and i slept in a bed all week. with clean sheets and a pillow. in a room with screens and an amazing ceiling fan. it's humbling, yet, i can't be who i am not. i can only look upon the world with openness, awareness and an ever-widening view of humanity, need, who i am, what i have and how i have what i have. i hardly know how -- but these moments are where i express my need to act and my inability without community and the inspiration of God.

- sarees -

the door buzzer rudely interrupted our peaceful sleep. it was monday morning in India. our last day; it started early and ended late.

a quarter to seven in the morning, sib is ringing our doorbell, handing us our sarees (custom fitted) and letting us know that sarah will be over to help us with our sarees. one long piece of cloth takes a truly experienced woman to make it look beautiful and sarah was our helper!

we scrambled out of our beds and got ready. when sarah arrived, her long indian hair coiffed into a bun with a do-rag, she wrapped me up first. simone and i had our tops on backwards (big surprise ... aren't the clasps supposed to go in the back? at least that's what i've known since i was able to dress myself. i had to re-learn a very basic indian thing! haha!) so we switched those, tighted our petticoats to hold up the folds of fabric, and sarah started expertly wrapping and folding.

for the first time, getting dressed was actually a community experience. there was no way you could get into a saree alone and still be sane. simone commented that it was like getting dressed in the old days -- when dressing took lacing up and layering and more people that one.

but sarah was satisfied with her work when we fninshed, we felt beautiful and it was truly a unique South Asian experience. (not to mention the stares we got walking in...)