oh my.

do you think i could find a pattern to make these myself? ($33 is a bit much for our little budget)













HOW DARLING ARE THESE?! Click the pic to see Gracious May's website...

Ew.

I met a lady at church on Sunday whose pregnancies were worse than mine has been. She was sicker than me (which is hard for me to imagine!) - thus, my "wow, i'm sick" was placed in a different light. Not that I'm having a pity party every day, but I'm not gonna lie. It's still been rough.

Especially the past week. I've gone only a few days without throwing up my breakfast (at least) and just. feel. rotten. I don't know if it's extra hormones pumping our little pumpkin up to 1lb or just being ornery, but it's been hard. So, if you pray, please pray for patience for me to get through this little bout of yucky again.

Thanks. :-)

21 and keepin' on.

hey kids! here is me and Sweetie Pea at 21 weeks. keep growin' girl!

a couple pretty garage sale finds. (the suitcase is AMAZING! in absolutely perfect condition. i'm keeping my fabric stash in it...)



















and some pretty vintage scarfs. at 50 cents each, how could i pass them up!?

I've read...

... that you have to introduce and prepare your other children for arrival of a new baby. Well, Jackson is the only thing that comes close to our "other child" so I have involved him in the process.

And the winner is....!!!

























Sa vre (it's true!) We have a daughter growing. Can't wait to meet her!! (And neither can Jackson!) :-)

20 week ultrasound

Here Baby is!! Look at that sweet little nose. :-)

not sure about the whole touching the belly thing.

I ran across 10 comebacks for "When People Annoyingly Touch Your Belly". I liked about 8 of them. Enjoy. :-)
1. Careful, you’ll wake the baby!

2. If you think that’s something, you should feel my butt.

3. Be careful. It kicks.

4. I had a big lunch.

5. My husband did it.

6. Hey, I’m not Buddha.

7. That'll be ten bucks.

8. Can I rub your belly now?

Officially Half Way.

Amen, glory Hallelujah. :-) I am happy! 20 weeks and now *officially* on the count down. (I realize though, 40 is still a long way off, BUT STILL!) Around 10 oz. and 6-1/2 inches. Baby is getting big!

This Wednesday we find out what Baby is!! Boy or Girl? Girl or Boy? I am so super excited. If Baby decides not to cooperate this time, I am afraid that I will be sorely disappointed. I don't think I'll cry ... but I am very ready to buy cute little clothes. And plan the decor. And pick a name. And call Baby "him" or "her". Please pray that Baby is still doing well.

Jeremy and I *might* have felt Baby yesterday during the world cup game (USA vs. England). Is it a sign? Haha, an indication of a future soccer player? Jeremy might hope so. :-) But we don't know. Our child will be who he or she is. Anyway, it kind of felt like this pulsing sensation in one spot on my belly. But it wasn't my PULSE because it wasn't constant. And it kept going here and there in the same spot for quite awhile (not gas?) Maybe. I'm still not completely convinced. I'm excited to know for sure!!



















Randoms: those jeans still fit (happy!). For everything else, I have a Be Band to hold up my unbottoned pants - esp because my stomach still hurts every day, it's just really uncomfortable to try to button pants over a belly that is just a little bit too big. I bought my only pair of shorts at Target last week - I am SUPER happy with this purchase - hopefully my only other maternity purchase. I'm trying to wear everything else until I absolutely can't. Hopefully that will be until October 30!! :-) And, I really need to eat healthier. Fruit please?!

Check back Wednesday for the big reveal!!

oh, the crafty things.

i've done a bit of sewing lately in my sweltering (sweat shop?) craft room (a.k.a. our bedroom). but wasn't it worth it? here is a glimpse of a few things I've made.

first, purse kleenex holders. (for all you non-runny nosed or i-don't-cry people, this is irrelevant, but for allergy sufferers, rejoice!)













then, a six-pocket bag I've been puzzling over and planning for months.













i really like it! except it was supposed to be (in my head at least) diaper bag size. um, it's not. even. close. it's only about 12 inches wide ... so off to make another when I'm inspired to try again. but i learned good things to remember! (like remembering to line up all of the seams. OOPS!) :-)













that's all for this edition! come back soon. :-) (and thanks for reading)

almost half way!

hey. :-) here is me and Baby, 19 weeks.



















the Mister and I went to April's wedding yesterday. he doesn't like them so much. i do. :-) especially the dress and the cake. yes, siree.













(me & the bride)

i had a funny experience - the first time anyone (stranger) has commented on my belly. probably because my dress showed it off a little more - then i ate like a horse at the wedding. and it was 95 degrees outside and i was sucking down water.

the conversation went like this:

MAN: "so, I've gotten in trouble saying this before, but you ARE pregnant, aren't you?"

(*his adult daughter was grimacing and covering her face before he even said it.*)

ME, laughing: "you're in luck this time because I am. I don't really mind ... I'm actually excited that I'm showing!"

<>

I am going back to work part time tomorrow at my former (and current) employee, Integrity Management (Docs Who Care) and hoping that my stomach will behave and I will feel okay.

Some of my pregnancy details, in no certain order:

*Cravings have not been super frequent but included many fried potatoes (with lots of ketchup!) Chinese orange chicken and ice cream cones. And I really like eating meat. And Doritos. And pickles.

*I have been waking up almost every 2-3 hours to use the potty. This is supposed to happen in the 1st and 3rd trimesters, but who knows? Baby must be sitting on my bladder!

*I can't sleep on one side too long, and I have to adjust my tummy (even though it's not very big!). I mostly always feel a little bit sick laying down.

*Jeremy always comments about my "prego belly". It makes me laugh.

*I'm still working on getting my leg strength and muscles back into a bit more shape. Long walks at the dog park and leisurely bike rides around the neighborhood are helping.

*I try not to talk about "my pregnancy" too much in conversation with friends. Unfortunately, it ends up coming up a lot.

*I woke up early on Saturday and decided to scout out some garage sales for vintage treasures and anything baby-neutral I could find. I found some vintage-y stuff (will post!) but it was either VERY girly stuff or VERY boy stuff. Nothing in between. I was so tempted to buy the 50-cent pink onesies, but I refrained. Please, applaud. There is nothing like waiting and wanting to know what he/she is!! 9 days until we know. :-)

*We both worry if the baby is okay. I haven't felt movement yet - only laid on the couch imagining that the tickles in my tummy are the baby. But every time we go to the doctor and have an ultrasound, the heart is beating and Baby is moving. And I still feel sick to my stomach pretty much every day - not that that means everything is okay, but it does mean that I'm still pregnant! Hormones. Gotta love 'em. (Or not.)

*We are happy that half-way is almost here. Woo hoo!

18 and growing.

Heyyy!! Happy long weekend everyone!

Here I am at 18 weeks (please excuse the sickly tired face, I really am doing okay) - grow baby grow! Only 2-1/2 more weeks until we find out if our little Shunky is a boy or girl.

We're excited.

pretty things - 1st edition

some pretty things around my house recently...

































































(pretty vintage things for my imaginary Etsy shop.)


































































































(pretty anniversary things post-celebrations.)

























(pretty natural thing from my very own garden - baby basil & my first ripe strawberries!)

May 24, 2010

tomorrow we're celebrating the day we said "i do" 2 years ago. i've had 2 years with a really great guy. after a yummy meal out on saturday, we took the chance to get some :family: photos.

(the furry boy was behaving quite well, so you'll see that we took our chance to pose with him too.)














gotta love the candids! (even an adorably photogenic puppy can have not-cute pictures. see below. hehe!)























































Love you, Mr.!

17 going on 40.

:-)

week 17! (and, for the record: no, Jeremy, I'm NOT sticking it out ... even though I still could use all the help I can get looking pregnant.)

a boy or a girl?

what do you think?! we're taking bets. ;-)















I lie. Actually we aren't.
















Babe decided that 16 1/2 weeks was too early to make the gender call. First the cord was in the way, then the Little Critter decided to stick a hand right there.

Modest Girl?
Typical Boy?

Not sure yet! We will find out (hopefully, provided Babe cooperates) on June 16 at 20 1/2 weeks. Stay tuned 'til then!

2 parental captions, Photograph 1:
1.
"Jeremy, I only see 4 fingers!"

"Just like Bart Simpson!"

(insert laughing. Jeremy comes over to peer at the picture.)

"Lisa, there is a THUMB."

"Oh."

2.
"Jeremy, so what do you think it is?"

(very swiftly) "I think it's a boy, now."

"Oh really?" (raised eyebrows) "How's that?"

"The face. It looks like a boy."

(me, snorting...)

Sweet 16, baby.

We surprised my parents (his idea - SUPER!) this weekend by driving "up the street" six hours. Jeremy wanted to get away from KC, but we weren't sure how my motion sickness and tummy would handle it.

Ends up I handled it perfectly! :-) Much to everyone's happiness. Esp. mine. Yay for fun weekends. Jeremy and Dad are out shooting and fishing and Mom and I are going for breakfast and maybe hit a few garage sales.

:-) 16 weeks, we are!

Week 15

My goal is to post the week-by-week belly shots by the end of each weekend. Failure this weekend.

(Am I getting any bigger? Am I? Am I?)



















My excuse this weekend is that I just felt yuck yesterday. Actually, I felt pretty good when I woke up, but riding 1/2 hour to church both ways and some other tummy issues (thank you Zofran - I hope I can get rid of you soon!) had me feeling icky. But lately "icky" is so much more tolerable than 7 weeks ago. SO. MUCH. MORE.

It's like comparing the "cures". My cure lately is lying on the couch, resting (still able to eat and drink and walk around). My cure 7 weeks ago was lying in a hospital bed (not able to do much of anything). So, really, it's good.

And, I had a great day on Saturday, complete with garage sale-ing (a.k.a. treasure hunting) with my honey, beautiful sunshine, and seeing Molly at her graduation open house. Not to mention eating BBQ and drinking water and feeling good about it! :-) Despite how great it was, I think I overdid myself and felt it on Sunday, but I'm okay with that.

16 weeks coming soon - and an ultrasound picture!

"Jeremy, the baby DOES have arms and legs now (not to mention other parts too!)."

Number Two!!

No. There really is only one baby in there. But with that babe I'm in my second trimester as of today!!

Here is "the bump", week 4 or 5. (I know, there is no bump there, but I'm calling it that. So you have something to compare to.)



















And here are we today! Week 14. I think we're making progress. What do you think? :-)



















And here is our latest photo of Baby Shunk at 9 weeks. It's been about 5 weeks since then, so Baby should be looking more and more human! Here he/she is 2.6 centimeters - TINY! Now, he/she should be 3-1/2 inches or so. Next sonogram is 16 weeks, so I'll share more pictures then!
















Dear Jesus, please make the nausea go away. For good. Love, Lisa

Yes, it's true.

Hello friends!

If you've come here from Facebook or via email, welcome!! So glad you stopped by. If you are wondering if what I'm going to announce is that Baby Shunk is on the way ... you would be right!

I'm 13.5 weeks pregnant with Baby and so far everything is going well. Unless, of course, you factor in that I've been sicker than 99.5% of all pregnant women this first trimester. But if we just talk Baby, as far as we know, he/she is doing great! Heartbeat is strong and we've seen him/her on the sonogram screen as a little 2.6cm blip growing normally. Should be the size of a peach this week.

Saturday I start into the 2nd trimester! Glory, hallelujah. I'm praying that with that comes relief from the annoying nausea that's still holding on.

Wait, let me back up.

((So, this ISN'T my pregnancy blog, although it will probably be updated until October mostly that way. Yes! Due date: October 30, 2010."Why?" you might ask. "Well," I would say, "I have two friends who've left me for Asia, several friends in Europe, and plenty of family who won't be able to see the progress in the next few months." Mostly, it's for them, but if you wish to follow, please do! I'll write for you too. :-) And, if you live anywhere in the Midwest and want to swing by Kansas City on your way somewhere to see the baby belly, feel free. But don't come yet. I don't have anything to show.))

So I've been diagnosed with hyperemesis of pregnancy, and frankly, it stinks. I've spent 6 of the last 7 weeks throwing up, force feeding, and crying miserable because I've been so sick. It's been sort of like a bad stomach flu combined with motion sickness and a migraine without the headache. I couldn't eat, drink, read, write, watch tv, get online, or sometimes even talk without being horribly sick. 8 days of March were spent in the hospital getting IV fluid and nutrition. 10 lbs gone off my already thin frame.

All of that to say, I do believe I am finally on the mend. I did have to quit work for 2 months - something a bit stressful on our family and finances, but I'm hoping to go back mid-May. I still am working on building up my ability to be in front of a computer for several hours (something my job requires) without feeling too sick and my stamina. But I am feeling 350% better and I'm up 6 pounds. I'm able to eat and drink fluids on my own and get around the house well. I've even been cooking and doing the dishes.

So, this post is more about me than the Baby, but that's been the story. One day we'll look back and it will be only that: a story. I will feel normal, be able to run around and go-go-go and ride in the car without thinking twice.

As for now... I am contemplating everything I take for granted while I feel well. Many of us do. But more on that later.

So as for now, we've made Baby public. :-) Ask all the questions you'd like. (And yes, pictures will be posted shortly).

Haiti Snippet - Dega Je - Do what you can with what you have!

Such a great teeny little video about a little boy and his bike in England.

:-)

Facebook quote

If anyone wants to know where God is today- He's pinned under rubble, he's hurt and afraid, he's hungry and homeless in Haiti.

Inside the Box

I'd really like to be the one who is artistically and creatively out of the box. Someone who inspires people to think deeply - to step out and be confidently themselves. And be one who doesn't care what people think if her own notions are so "out there."

I'm still so 'inside the box.'

'So there's 'out of the box' which is often merely a variation of the same thing. And then there are those who think and feel and live and create from a different place. They've had their boxes smashed until they had no other option but to imagine a totally new tomorrow.'

~Rob Bell, Drops Like Stars

***

And tell me Rob Bell, why, why does it take smashed boxes to imagine a new tomorrow? Why can't it come out of the passion of being, rather than suffering? Why smashed and not whole?

Why?

New Series: Drops Like Stars - Vol. 1

Rob Bell's books always inspire me. His last two have been incredibly thought-provoking. Not to mention his Nooma videos - which I also love and have been wanting to start a small group around (which might happen soon! we will see).

So if you haven't picked up Jesus Wants to Save Christians or Drops Like Stars, I recommend them. Highly. I didn't even know that the latter (Bell's latest book) even existed, but lo and behold, thanks to my fantastic husband, I opened it on Christmas morning.

Want to borrow it? You should!


I've decided that my life isn't always as thought provoking as I would like - sometimes there are days and days at a time when I don't really have any good thoughts - let alone things to write down. Thus, reading a great book and responding is my way of "thinking good thoughts". Even if they don't come out profoundly.

And, actually, I HAVE been thinking a lot lately. About life and work and passion and contentment and suffering and creativity ... so, why not? Responding gives me a platform to jump from. So, ya ready? I'm jumpin'! And here's the first food for thought:

(Will be back soon.)

"There's a phrase we use when we're describing something we consider new and fresh and unexpected. We say it's 'out of the box'. The problem with the phrase is that when something or someone is judged to be in or out of 'the box,' it reveals that 'the box' is still our primary point of reference. We're still operating within the prescribed boundaries and assumptions of how things are supposed to be. 'Out of the box' is sometimes merely another way of being 'in the box.'

And then there are those who come from a totally different place. They ask another kind of question:


'There's a box?'

~Rob Bell, Drops Like Stars

dirt.

sometimes we have to deal with a little "dirt" in our lives.


sometimes we have to deal with a LOT.















and we can, yes we can, become clean again. THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE.

RE: India

**So, a friend from Haiti is still reading through his inbox ... and I got a note replying to this (see below) email. It's from May 2007! However, I enjoyed reading it again, laughed at him, and thought I'd post it for you to see too.

May 2007: Visited Pune, India at a Nazarene Youth Congress.

______________________________________________


I'm convinced, despite its economical state, India is rich.
Last week, while reflecting on the six days I spent there, I realized that the richness I discovered wasn't complete without experiencing it through all of my senses -- and I was able to go and do this, in part, because of your support, financially, through prayer and encouragement. Thank you! The rest I can thank God for; He has blessed me so much this year!

Toting our own personal rolls of toilet paper, more skirts than I've ever worn in one week and communications seminar materials, Simone (Miss Amazing Writer) and I (Simone's Sidekick) flew to Mumbai (Bombay) on May 16. Our site for the Nazarene Youth Congress was on a Bible school campus in Pune, India, about a four-hour bus-ride from the airport. As soon as we deplaned, it was obvious that we'd left the cool and clean land of Switzerland (and western Europe for that matter) and entered into the world of humidity, mosquitoes and rickshaws. Yet it is a place where spirituality is an essential of life and where God is working to draw more people to Himself.

Feeling India. In Switzerland, our crackly skin requires daily lotioning. I've decided that "humidity" is almost synonymous with India -- our hair and skin were completely without need of anything but air. May and June are the warm season in the country that houses one sixth of the world's population and we were smack dab in the middle of it. Fortunately, it was only about 30-35' C in Pune (90-95' F) instead of 45 (113'F!) as some participants said they'd come from. It was still HOT, but we were blessed, most nights, with cool breezes and if not there was enough electricity to run our ceiling fans all night.

Western girls in India, no matter if we were "disguised" in Indian clothing, are an attraction, and as I expected, we felt eyes following us wherever we went. However, most were not inhospitable stares. We were drenched in hospitality from the Indian people, maybe because we were foreigners, but the care was obvious.
"Have you eaten breakfast? Do you need more?"
"Take my seat."
"Oh, you look so beautiful in your Indian clothing!"
"Thank you so much for coming and talking to us."

Tasting India. Without a doubt, Indian food is unique and I loved it. The first afternoon we went for lunch after waking up very late, we were alone in the dining hall. Given no utensils, it was obvious that we were supposed to use our fingers to eat, but neither Simone nor I knew how and no one was around for us to subtly spy on for tips. The next meal we confessed our ignorance and had several people show us how to eat rice with our fingers -- not without a mess, but so fun! Curry sauces and more rice, white bread and chipate (tortilla-like flat bread) than I've ever eaten before. Some of the sauces were spicier than others -- yum(!) but every meal my runny nose reminded me of the heat. Fruit (not to mention veggies) was rare, but the bananas and mango slices we did have were a treat! We drank and drank and drank and drank bottle after bottle of water. No dehydration. Praise Jesus.

Smelling India. Third-world smells, if you've never experienced them, I've found are very similar, even on the other side of the world. On the windy and dirty bus-ride to and from Mumbai, smells assailed us. Some of the unkind smells (trash and sewer and diesel exhaust) were obvious but other smells I recognized from my time in Haiti but were undefinable beyond "familiar". New smells of fried chipate and curry sauces filled the air before mealtimes, roasted nuts along the street and even the smell of the wet air after a thunderstorm! The thunderstorm was a special treat -- none of those in my Swiss village.

Seeing India. India is undeniably beautiful. And the beauty is the people. Dark skin, shiny black hair and tiny children. The land is brown and green and cities dirty and grey, but the bougainvillea flowers in bright pinks and oranges save the landscapes. Not to mention the extraordinary and colorful dress of the women. Eastern fashion was so fun to observe -- flowing sarees and salwar kameezes (a typical Indian outfit -- pants and long tunic tops with a scarf cover) paired with sparkly jewelry. Add that to traditional dancing and I had a moment of realization that probably nothing will ever duplicate what I was experiencing. If I would smile, faces would light up -- the beauty of the creation of people was so evident.

Hear India. Honking car and rickshaw horns kept us awake the night we drove in -- the driving was insane. (Simone commented that if her brothers had grown up in India, they wouldn't have needed to play video games, they'd just need to drive!) A bird, which at first we couldn't quite peg as a monkey or a bird, sang to us and the skinny campus cat screeched at all hours. Lilting songs (amazing what they could do with their voices) and beat of the drums added new sensory worship experiences, Hindi and chatter from local dialects filled the times when English was not spoken (although as English as its second language, India is a place friendly to native English speakers!), cheers from competitive cricket games, laughter, hallelujahs and more filled our ears.

Amidst all of the almost overwhelming surroundings, we saw God, asked for his help, interviewed people and taught four seminars on communications -- attempting to convey the importance of telling our stories. Stories of what God is doing in our lives and communities so that our own people and the world might hear and know and believe.

Wedded Bliss (or something like that)

SO two weekends ago, my BFF Elizabeth got married to her Mike.


They're a good pair. Trust me. (*wink)


And I got to freeze whilst taking these pictures outside. Yet! I will not complain. It was the only not rainy day in weeks (and seriously, my calves/thighs were sore for 3 days ... after "walking" on squishy ground in those heels!) and I got to be in some of the pictures.


Yay for me and yay for them. Ha.





















And, um, pretty much, their photographer was amazing. Click the picture to see more of Erica Rankin's work that day! They said she was good ... but holy crap. She's AMAZING.

:-)


*sigh* BFF is married off... phew!

summer

I really do like summer.

But I have to admit that it's much more fun when you're a kid. And it's SUMMER. And it lasts SO long! And you can't wait to get out of school ... and then back to school!

WAIT! back to summer. My summer means full-time work. Watching the hired mowers cutting the grass. Turning my heater on when 71 degrees is too cold for me. Wishing I was home.

But sometimes it's...

Finding your first ripe tomato!















Fresh green beans from your tiny garden.














Having a Jackson who loves to eat green beans. :-) Yes, he loves them.


















Summer. It's good. :-)

Fabio

an obvious boy/girl exchange this morning while I'm combing my hair.


J: "aw man, I can't imagine having hair that long."

L: "do you want hair this long?"

J: "no"

L: "Yeah, and I don't want hair as short as yours."

J: "Yeah. Well... if I had thick hair, I would like it long."

L: "EEEEEEEW."

J: "Ohh..... FABIO!!!" (Kiss on the cheek.)


No, Jeremy, I prefer bald men.
:-)

For Today...

Outside my window... drops of rain and wind-blown trees.

I am thinking... about going home.

From the learning rooms... why I can't be anything I want to be. I can only love being who I am designed to be.

I am thankful for... good people.

From the kitchen... week old brownies. :-)

I am wearing... my black $3 Ann Taylor LOFT shirt with tan & gold capris. Brown and Black -- I love you Europe!

I am reading... in blogland.

I am hoping... to have fun with my husband.

I am creating... living room curtains.

I am hearing... computer buzz and ladies talking.

Around the house... is my puppy and his hairballs.

One of my favorite things... laughing with my love.

A few plans for the rest of the week... seeing friends and a Saturday wedding.


Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...











Love from Slovenia. :-) Georgeous, isn't she?

number one

If you check out the picture two posts ago ... you may notice a white dress. :-)

May 24 we celebrated number ONE! And, honestly, it was surprising for both of us how special it was. Ha, we couldn't stop smiling at each other. And I pranced around in my wedding dress for a little bit.

It was our "paper" anniversary. So he put a gift (such a lovely gift!) in a pretty paper bag and I wrote love notes on a roll of toilet paper. To read when ... well, you know.

I'm not sure that I can put a finger on what made it so special, but it was like this intimate knowing that we'd made it through one (really tough) year and we really did love each other. I've heard this a ton ... but I do think that I love him more than I did last year.

A-mazing.

Not to say that we've not had our ups and downs ... but, it was just good. Thank you for your goodness God.

And thank you JEREMY LEE for loving me!!

:-)

about being you.

I unashamedly heart Henri Nouwen. Here's what he has to say about being you.

"Speak from that place in your heart where you are most yourself. Speak directly, simply, lovingly, gently and without any apologies. Tell us what you see and what us to see; tell us what you hear and want us to hear. Trust your own heart. The words will come. There is nothing to fear. Those who need you most will help you most. You can be sure I will."

"...hear these words spoken to you with all the tenderness and force that love can hold."

Something has changed. Am I more insecure? I want to write so badly, but (obviously) it doesn't happen. No inspiration in the last year of my life. However, I think, "Shouldn't it have been more inspiring than all the rest?" It wasn't.

It was angering, hurtful, confusing and depressing.

Well, not every part, but most.

And here I am, on the brink of something large, waiting, hoping and filled with anticipation of what the Father just might have in store for me.

"I've got more than you can even imagine." Really, seriously...? What could I imagine? Traveling? Ministering (for real)? Being a presence in peoples' lives? Doing something meaningful? Being a mom? Owning a creative business on the side? Inspiring people by... speaking??

There's a lot I can imagine, God. Surprise me. I'm yours.

it's been almost a year

i almost can't believe that i've neglected my blog for almost a year. (and geez, enough has happened)

and by "neglect" i really just mean, i-haven't-had-the-motivation-or-the-need-to-blog. plus, my husband read in his high-tech-y magazine that blogging was SO 2004. how intimidating is that? but actually, i think now, who cares? i'm feeling the need and really mommyBLOGS keep the world going 'round. i love them. i can't help it. must be the little mommy me inside. ha. (no worries, no babies yet...)

but another reason is, it's okay to blog now. i don't have to worry about being honest and having *someone* run into it that shouldn't be reading it. not that i would be writing anything horrible, it's just ... well... it's been the last year of my life. stifled. discouraged. wanting to beat a wall down but knowing it wouldn't help anything. 

and now, i sit, job-hunting, avoiding huge dog slobbers, and scouting out craigslist for good deals i still can't afford. i have friends, but they all have lives now. responsibility. KIDS. for heaven's sake! :-) it's a good time of life, but also confusing and hard. 

here's how it went.

quit job, moved to Idaho

had no friends, had no job

got married in May (*highlight*!)

got discouraged in June

stayed that way

made one friend

got a job in November

he got let go in December

moved to Kansas City

no job, some friends.

 May His light be our guiding path because at least I know, I haven't a clue.