so it's Friday. glorious day. they say it's as hot as you-know-what outside and i believe it. i'm content to not sweat and instead look at the leafy goodness outside my window waving in the breeze. it's also so good because it's the hubby's day off. and so is tomorrow. and so is Sunday.
(shout out to my good, good man: he's been amazing this week. i love him so much.)
and almost end of bedrest - week 1. lots of things to be thankful for. not to mention - she's a week older! so many good people all ready wanting, offering, willing to help. to bring food on his long days, to check in to let the Jackson boy outside for a potty break, to put dishes in the dishwasher and clothes in the closet and sweep hairs and dust off the floor. and there are those who can offer encouragement - like Skyping for a couple hours to take my mind off things.
and she's still inside me. and she is still kicking me. and i'm so glad it's not winter - because just as it is getting dark outside, it's my bedtime (yes, i like to sleep!). it's not 4:30pm and dark, it's 9:00pm and dark. thank you God, that it's not winter. the trees are full and pretty outside my window too.
and you know what else? i feel okay. this has been the best part to think about. i cannot reiterate or explain HOW HARD it is to feel deathly sick and be confined to bed because of it and not. be. able. to. do. anything.
except get sick. and cry. and get sick again.
i really can do a lot with my time. the comparison is like night and day. and i can focus on doing this for her. not surviving that for me.
***
will i feel like this is 5 weeks? doubtfully. will i ache to miss his 30th birthday in ohio when i've been looking forward to going for months? most definitely. will i keep going? yes, yes, and yes.
Jesus, have mercy.
bedrest.
7.19.2010
prognosis: bedrest. fulltime. no work.
not exactly what we wanted to hear.
especially because my honey's 30th is in 3 weeks and we had big plans for celebrating it. however, i am pretty well confined to my top floor because that is where our bathroom is. so bed 24/7. until my perinatalogist appt on Monday, that is. she may be able to suggest some medicine or a procedure, etc. to keep little Sweetie Pea in there. she needs at least 2-1/2 more months to be good and developed. please pray. not only for her and me, but for Jeremy too. it's stressful to try to do everything...
sigh, she's still in there (and kicking my cervix too!!!) and we're hoping she'll stay there for 10 more weeks.
Jesus, have mercy.
not exactly what we wanted to hear.
especially because my honey's 30th is in 3 weeks and we had big plans for celebrating it. however, i am pretty well confined to my top floor because that is where our bathroom is. so bed 24/7. until my perinatalogist appt on Monday, that is. she may be able to suggest some medicine or a procedure, etc. to keep little Sweetie Pea in there. she needs at least 2-1/2 more months to be good and developed. please pray. not only for her and me, but for Jeremy too. it's stressful to try to do everything...
sigh, she's still in there (and kicking my cervix too!!!) and we're hoping she'll stay there for 10 more weeks.
Jesus, have mercy.
25! 25! 25!
7.18.2010
Hello again! I did not fulfill my promise of news on Wednesday because we got a different kind of news: partial bedrest. So little Baby's pictures are still waiting to be scanned. *sorry!*
Instead, though, I do have good news. She is doing GREAT and weighs about 1-1/2 pounds! And the bigger she gets, the more of my weight I can credit her with. :-)
Unfortunately, there's potential pre-term labor pending (no contractions ... just gettin' a little bit shorter than they'd like) so it was partial bed rest this week. Tomorrow we go to see how things are and if it's worse ... I'll have to do fulltime bed rest. Not exactly my idea of a fun time. And not exactly Jeremy's ideal of spending all of his time - taking care of me and cooking and the house. Plus, not being able to work again would just be a big bummer. I want to work and we need that income, etc. But, God knows what we need.
And, we're praying that everything is in good order tomorrow and I can get back to my newest normal routine.
Here's us at 25 weeks!!

Happy Sunday.
Instead, though, I do have good news. She is doing GREAT and weighs about 1-1/2 pounds! And the bigger she gets, the more of my weight I can credit her with. :-)
Unfortunately, there's potential pre-term labor pending (no contractions ... just gettin' a little bit shorter than they'd like) so it was partial bed rest this week. Tomorrow we go to see how things are and if it's worse ... I'll have to do fulltime bed rest. Not exactly my idea of a fun time. And not exactly Jeremy's ideal of spending all of his time - taking care of me and cooking and the house. Plus, not being able to work again would just be a big bummer. I want to work and we need that income, etc. But, God knows what we need.
And, we're praying that everything is in good order tomorrow and I can get back to my newest normal routine.
Here's us at 25 weeks!!

Happy Sunday.
Twenty FOUR.
7.10.2010
16 weeks left to go!!! I'm so happy. :-)

Sorry all you get is the no-makeup-looking-tired pictures, but that's all for my Saturdays. I'm still trying to de-ga-je my non-maternity clothes, but I'm not sure how long that will last! (Next Saturday is Molly's wedding, so I'll wait to take a pic when I have makeup on. Just for you. :-) hehe.)
Sweetie Pea is kicking more and has begun kicking my bladder this week. Not a huge issue unless I'm sitting in the car and have to GO! :-) Uncomfortable nonetheless. Jeremy got to feel her dancing and shakin' one morning - that was special. We just can't stop smiling when we both get to feel her together.
Hoping and praying that she keeps thriving and growing. :-) We are looking forward to October. Our next appt is Wednesday! Sweetie Pea pictures to come!

Sorry all you get is the no-makeup-looking-tired pictures, but that's all for my Saturdays. I'm still trying to de-ga-je my non-maternity clothes, but I'm not sure how long that will last! (Next Saturday is Molly's wedding, so I'll wait to take a pic when I have makeup on. Just for you. :-) hehe.)
Sweetie Pea is kicking more and has begun kicking my bladder this week. Not a huge issue unless I'm sitting in the car and have to GO! :-) Uncomfortable nonetheless. Jeremy got to feel her dancing and shakin' one morning - that was special. We just can't stop smiling when we both get to feel her together.
Hoping and praying that she keeps thriving and growing. :-) We are looking forward to October. Our next appt is Wednesday! Sweetie Pea pictures to come!
a day in the life of a dog.
7.03.2010
a day in the life. when we go to the park.

i sniff the grass and run the way and i mark, mark, mark.

my favorite part is the watery edge where i swim and fetch and get soaked. (see my smile?)

i ask for the fetch because i've learned how to swim.

dad gladly throws it as far as he can. (but not really)

i swim and i swim to get that piece.

past the sailboats in the wind.

and bring it back to do it again. (and again and again.)

dad tries to tell me to give it to him. but usually i run past and drop it on the sand.

mommy claps and dad says, "good boy". in the nerdy way that only they can.

i lick my nose.

stick out my tongue...
...and we do it over and over again, until it's time to go home.
THE END.
i sniff the grass and run the way and i mark, mark, mark.
my favorite part is the watery edge where i swim and fetch and get soaked. (see my smile?)
i ask for the fetch because i've learned how to swim.

dad gladly throws it as far as he can. (but not really)

i swim and i swim to get that piece.
past the sailboats in the wind.
and bring it back to do it again. (and again and again.)
dad tries to tell me to give it to him. but usually i run past and drop it on the sand.
mommy claps and dad says, "good boy". in the nerdy way that only they can.
i lick my nose.
stick out my tongue...
...and we do it over and over again, until it's time to go home.
THE END.
we're 23!!
Thoughts from Haiti - Part II
6.30.2010
Conversations with friends, in class, and in my head also rocked my world.
You mean, like, are you serious? Real Christians enjoy alcohol and still consider themselves Christians?
You mean life under a dictator was all-around better than it is now?
You mean the US government really screwed some things up in their dealings with Haiti?
You mean, democracy isn't a one-size-fits-all government model?
The guys think that I was the one who told about the drugs? (I wasn't. I didn't have a clue.)
Being the minority sucks sometimes.
After what I've seen ... how can I live life like I did before?
The list goes on. I won't bore you with a comprehensive list, but merely to say, that when I say that my world was turned upside-down at 17, it really was. No wonder I was so confused for 3 years. It took 3 years to finally come to terms with who I was, who I was becoming, and how to relate to people again - with this new perspective.
When I talked to my colleague, she was still obviously reeling from what she had seen and learned. Sometimes we have to live in that struggle for an uncomfortable and uncertain amount of time in order to come out on the other side. And even still, the "other side" includes struggle and discomfort.
You mean, like, are you serious? Real Christians enjoy alcohol and still consider themselves Christians?
You mean life under a dictator was all-around better than it is now?
You mean the US government really screwed some things up in their dealings with Haiti?
You mean, democracy isn't a one-size-fits-all government model?
The guys think that I was the one who told about the drugs? (I wasn't. I didn't have a clue.)
Being the minority sucks sometimes.
After what I've seen ... how can I live life like I did before?
The list goes on. I won't bore you with a comprehensive list, but merely to say, that when I say that my world was turned upside-down at 17, it really was. No wonder I was so confused for 3 years. It took 3 years to finally come to terms with who I was, who I was becoming, and how to relate to people again - with this new perspective.
When I talked to my colleague, she was still obviously reeling from what she had seen and learned. Sometimes we have to live in that struggle for an uncomfortable and uncertain amount of time in order to come out on the other side. And even still, the "other side" includes struggle and discomfort.
Thoughts from Haiti - Part I
I should've wrote this post when I was fresh in my thoughts. I have this desire to articulate coherently (not a bad desire, mind you), but sometimes I think too much, don't write anything down, and then forget what I was thinking. Does that ever happen to you?
I was talking to a colleague about her trip to Haiti a few weeks ago - she was there for only 4 days, but I could tell that it was a life-perspective changer for her. These conversations invigorate me - challenge me - and remind me just how much I've learned. And then sometimes neglect to live.
Before this conversation, I was thinking. It feels wrong to say, but I feel like my life started after I moved to Haiti to live with my parents and lil' sister (who is beautiful and engaged and not so little anymore!).
Like I said, it feels wrong to say out loud, but I can't get away from it. I feel like I was living in a mist, in a half-life, in such a short sighted perspective. The environment, the things that mattered ... have so little to do with how I see life now. There was no opportunity (at least for me) to break outside of comfortable and see with different eyes.
Until Haiti.
It was before we actually went that I was stung with a hard truth.
Cisca, a Dutch friend, gently explained to me that maybe America wasn't what I'd been taught and sang about in patriotic songs and programs.
It wasn't.
And maybe everyone in the world doesn't want to come live in the US.
They don't.
And maybe, just maybe, America isn't the "greatest" country in the world.
It isn't.
Truly, this rocked my world. And it was only the beginning of world-rocking that would ensue.
I was talking to a colleague about her trip to Haiti a few weeks ago - she was there for only 4 days, but I could tell that it was a life-perspective changer for her. These conversations invigorate me - challenge me - and remind me just how much I've learned. And then sometimes neglect to live.
Before this conversation, I was thinking. It feels wrong to say, but I feel like my life started after I moved to Haiti to live with my parents and lil' sister (who is beautiful and engaged and not so little anymore!).
Like I said, it feels wrong to say out loud, but I can't get away from it. I feel like I was living in a mist, in a half-life, in such a short sighted perspective. The environment, the things that mattered ... have so little to do with how I see life now. There was no opportunity (at least for me) to break outside of comfortable and see with different eyes.
Until Haiti.
It was before we actually went that I was stung with a hard truth.
Cisca, a Dutch friend, gently explained to me that maybe America wasn't what I'd been taught and sang about in patriotic songs and programs.
It wasn't.
And maybe everyone in the world doesn't want to come live in the US.
They don't.
And maybe, just maybe, America isn't the "greatest" country in the world.
It isn't.
Truly, this rocked my world. And it was only the beginning of world-rocking that would ensue.
Icky update - the home stretch
hey friends, it's me. the sicky prego girl. who still has 17 more weeks to feel yucky. but shall i say, 17 weeks before they meet their little sweetie pea? yes, i much prefer the positive. she is dancing around like a little girl should. :-) however, when you sit up all night puking up nothing and are left with a massive pressure headache and both you and hubby are reminiscing about first trimester hyperemesis and possible going back to the hospital ... positive is a little further from your reach.
however, please note, I am writing this today. in the afternoon. NOT puking on the keyboard. i had a rough, rough day yesterday, had to leave work early, hardly was able to eat or drink anything ... and then spent the night by the toilet (well, it felt like it... i did sleep some) feeling like i had a rock in my esophagus. okay, okay, you get the point. thank you Jesus, I have been able to eat some, drink some and stop throwing up.
this is good. just hope that going back to work is in the future. near. like soon.
i called the dr and they said that I needed to go to the ER for fluids if I can't keep anything down. but as for now, I'm avoiding my millionth IV stick for now. *breathe in* *breath out*
thank you to the pray-ers in my life - I still need endurance for the home stretch. but, i am on it. amen and amen.
however, please note, I am writing this today. in the afternoon. NOT puking on the keyboard. i had a rough, rough day yesterday, had to leave work early, hardly was able to eat or drink anything ... and then spent the night by the toilet (well, it felt like it... i did sleep some) feeling like i had a rock in my esophagus. okay, okay, you get the point. thank you Jesus, I have been able to eat some, drink some and stop throwing up.
this is good. just hope that going back to work is in the future. near. like soon.
i called the dr and they said that I needed to go to the ER for fluids if I can't keep anything down. but as for now, I'm avoiding my millionth IV stick for now. *breathe in* *breath out*
thank you to the pray-ers in my life - I still need endurance for the home stretch. but, i am on it. amen and amen.
Twenty two.
6.26.2010
oh my.
6.24.2010
Ew.
I met a lady at church on Sunday whose pregnancies were worse than mine has been. She was sicker than me (which is hard for me to imagine!) - thus, my "wow, i'm sick" was placed in a different light. Not that I'm having a pity party every day, but I'm not gonna lie. It's still been rough.
Especially the past week. I've gone only a few days without throwing up my breakfast (at least) and just. feel. rotten. I don't know if it's extra hormones pumping our little pumpkin up to 1lb or just being ornery, but it's been hard. So, if you pray, please pray for patience for me to get through this little bout of yucky again.
Thanks. :-)
Especially the past week. I've gone only a few days without throwing up my breakfast (at least) and just. feel. rotten. I don't know if it's extra hormones pumping our little pumpkin up to 1lb or just being ornery, but it's been hard. So, if you pray, please pray for patience for me to get through this little bout of yucky again.
Thanks. :-)
I've read...
... that you have to introduce and prepare your other children for arrival of a new baby. Well, Jackson is the only thing that comes close to our "other child" so I have involved him in the process.
And the winner is....!!!


Sa vre (it's true!) We have a daughter growing. Can't wait to meet her!! (And neither can Jackson!) :-)
And the winner is....!!!
Sa vre (it's true!) We have a daughter growing. Can't wait to meet her!! (And neither can Jackson!) :-)
not sure about the whole touching the belly thing.
6.15.2010
I ran across 10 comebacks for "When People Annoyingly Touch Your Belly". I liked about 8 of them. Enjoy. :-)
1. Careful, you’ll wake the baby!
2. If you think that’s something, you should feel my butt.
3. Be careful. It kicks.
5. My husband did it.
6. Hey, I’m not Buddha.
7. That'll be ten bucks.
8. Can I rub your belly now?
1. Careful, you’ll wake the baby!
2. If you think that’s something, you should feel my butt.
3. Be careful. It kicks.
4. I had a big lunch.
6. Hey, I’m not Buddha.
7. That'll be ten bucks.
8. Can I rub your belly now?
Officially Half Way.
6.13.2010
Amen, glory Hallelujah. :-) I am happy! 20 weeks and now *officially* on the count down. (I realize though, 40 is still a long way off, BUT STILL!) Around 10 oz. and 6-1/2 inches. Baby is getting big!
This Wednesday we find out what Baby is!! Boy or Girl? Girl or Boy? I am so super excited. If Baby decides not to cooperate this time, I am afraid that I will be sorely disappointed. I don't think I'll cry ... but I am very ready to buy cute little clothes. And plan the decor. And pick a name. And call Baby "him" or "her". Please pray that Baby is still doing well.
Jeremy and I *might* have felt Baby yesterday during the world cup game (USA vs. England). Is it a sign? Haha, an indication of a future soccer player? Jeremy might hope so. :-) But we don't know. Our child will be who he or she is. Anyway, it kind of felt like this pulsing sensation in one spot on my belly. But it wasn't my PULSE because it wasn't constant. And it kept going here and there in the same spot for quite awhile (not gas?) Maybe. I'm still not completely convinced. I'm excited to know for sure!!

Randoms: those jeans still fit (happy!). For everything else, I have a Be Band to hold up my unbottoned pants - esp because my stomach still hurts every day, it's just really uncomfortable to try to button pants over a belly that is just a little bit too big. I bought my only pair of shorts at Target last week - I am SUPER happy with this purchase - hopefully my only other maternity purchase. I'm trying to wear everything else until I absolutely can't. Hopefully that will be until October 30!! :-) And, I really need to eat healthier. Fruit please?!
Check back Wednesday for the big reveal!!
This Wednesday we find out what Baby is!! Boy or Girl? Girl or Boy? I am so super excited. If Baby decides not to cooperate this time, I am afraid that I will be sorely disappointed. I don't think I'll cry ... but I am very ready to buy cute little clothes. And plan the decor. And pick a name. And call Baby "him" or "her". Please pray that Baby is still doing well.
Jeremy and I *might* have felt Baby yesterday during the world cup game (USA vs. England). Is it a sign? Haha, an indication of a future soccer player? Jeremy might hope so. :-) But we don't know. Our child will be who he or she is. Anyway, it kind of felt like this pulsing sensation in one spot on my belly. But it wasn't my PULSE because it wasn't constant. And it kept going here and there in the same spot for quite awhile (not gas?) Maybe. I'm still not completely convinced. I'm excited to know for sure!!

Randoms: those jeans still fit (happy!). For everything else, I have a Be Band to hold up my unbottoned pants - esp because my stomach still hurts every day, it's just really uncomfortable to try to button pants over a belly that is just a little bit too big. I bought my only pair of shorts at Target last week - I am SUPER happy with this purchase - hopefully my only other maternity purchase. I'm trying to wear everything else until I absolutely can't. Hopefully that will be until October 30!! :-) And, I really need to eat healthier. Fruit please?!
Check back Wednesday for the big reveal!!
oh, the crafty things.
6.07.2010
i've done a bit of sewing lately in my sweltering (sweat shop?) craft room (a.k.a. our bedroom). but wasn't it worth it? here is a glimpse of a few things I've made.
first, purse kleenex holders. (for all you non-runny nosed or i-don't-cry people, this is irrelevant, but for allergy sufferers, rejoice!)

then, a six-pocket bag I've been puzzling over and planning for months.

i really like it! except it was supposed to be (in my head at least) diaper bag size. um, it's not. even. close. it's only about 12 inches wide ... so off to make another when I'm inspired to try again. but i learned good things to remember! (like remembering to line up all of the seams. OOPS!) :-)

that's all for this edition! come back soon. :-) (and thanks for reading)
first, purse kleenex holders. (for all you non-runny nosed or i-don't-cry people, this is irrelevant, but for allergy sufferers, rejoice!)
then, a six-pocket bag I've been puzzling over and planning for months.
i really like it! except it was supposed to be (in my head at least) diaper bag size. um, it's not. even. close. it's only about 12 inches wide ... so off to make another when I'm inspired to try again. but i learned good things to remember! (like remembering to line up all of the seams. OOPS!) :-)
that's all for this edition! come back soon. :-) (and thanks for reading)
almost half way!
6.06.2010
hey. :-) here is me and Baby, 19 weeks.
the Mister and I went to April's wedding yesterday. he doesn't like them so much. i do. :-) especially the dress and the cake. yes, siree.
(me & the bride)
i had a funny experience - the first time anyone (stranger) has commented on my belly. probably because my dress showed it off a little more - then i ate like a horse at the wedding. and it was 95 degrees outside and i was sucking down water.
the conversation went like this:
MAN: "so, I've gotten in trouble saying this before, but you ARE pregnant, aren't you?"
(*his adult daughter was grimacing and covering her face before he even said it.*)
ME, laughing: "you're in luck this time because I am. I don't really mind ... I'm actually excited that I'm showing!"
<>
I am going back to work part time tomorrow at my former (and current) employee, Integrity Management (Docs Who Care) and hoping that my stomach will behave and I will feel okay.
Some of my pregnancy details, in no certain order:
*Cravings have not been super frequent but included many fried potatoes (with lots of ketchup!) Chinese orange chicken and ice cream cones. And I really like eating meat. And Doritos. And pickles.
*I have been waking up almost every 2-3 hours to use the potty. This is supposed to happen in the 1st and 3rd trimesters, but who knows? Baby must be sitting on my bladder!
*I can't sleep on one side too long, and I have to adjust my tummy (even though it's not very big!). I mostly always feel a little bit sick laying down.
*Jeremy always comments about my "prego belly". It makes me laugh.
*I'm still working on getting my leg strength and muscles back into a bit more shape. Long walks at the dog park and leisurely bike rides around the neighborhood are helping.
*I try not to talk about "my pregnancy" too much in conversation with friends. Unfortunately, it ends up coming up a lot.
*I woke up early on Saturday and decided to scout out some garage sales for vintage treasures and anything baby-neutral I could find. I found some vintage-y stuff (will post!) but it was either VERY girly stuff or VERY boy stuff. Nothing in between. I was so tempted to buy the 50-cent pink onesies, but I refrained. Please, applaud. There is nothing like waiting and wanting to know what he/she is!! 9 days until we know. :-)
*We both worry if the baby is okay. I haven't felt movement yet - only laid on the couch imagining that the tickles in my tummy are the baby. But every time we go to the doctor and have an ultrasound, the heart is beating and Baby is moving. And I still feel sick to my stomach pretty much every day - not that that means everything is okay, but it does mean that I'm still pregnant! Hormones. Gotta love 'em. (Or not.)
*We are happy that half-way is almost here. Woo hoo!
the Mister and I went to April's wedding yesterday. he doesn't like them so much. i do. :-) especially the dress and the cake. yes, siree.
(me & the bride)
i had a funny experience - the first time anyone (stranger) has commented on my belly. probably because my dress showed it off a little more - then i ate like a horse at the wedding. and it was 95 degrees outside and i was sucking down water.
the conversation went like this:
MAN: "so, I've gotten in trouble saying this before, but you ARE pregnant, aren't you?"
(*his adult daughter was grimacing and covering her face before he even said it.*)
ME, laughing: "you're in luck this time because I am. I don't really mind ... I'm actually excited that I'm showing!"
<
I am going back to work part time tomorrow at my former (and current) employee, Integrity Management (Docs Who Care) and hoping that my stomach will behave and I will feel okay.
Some of my pregnancy details, in no certain order:
*Cravings have not been super frequent but included many fried potatoes (with lots of ketchup!) Chinese orange chicken and ice cream cones. And I really like eating meat. And Doritos. And pickles.
*I have been waking up almost every 2-3 hours to use the potty. This is supposed to happen in the 1st and 3rd trimesters, but who knows? Baby must be sitting on my bladder!
*I can't sleep on one side too long, and I have to adjust my tummy (even though it's not very big!). I mostly always feel a little bit sick laying down.
*Jeremy always comments about my "prego belly". It makes me laugh.
*I'm still working on getting my leg strength and muscles back into a bit more shape. Long walks at the dog park and leisurely bike rides around the neighborhood are helping.
*I try not to talk about "my pregnancy" too much in conversation with friends. Unfortunately, it ends up coming up a lot.
*I woke up early on Saturday and decided to scout out some garage sales for vintage treasures and anything baby-neutral I could find. I found some vintage-y stuff (will post!) but it was either VERY girly stuff or VERY boy stuff. Nothing in between. I was so tempted to buy the 50-cent pink onesies, but I refrained. Please, applaud. There is nothing like waiting and wanting to know what he/she is!! 9 days until we know. :-)
*We both worry if the baby is okay. I haven't felt movement yet - only laid on the couch imagining that the tickles in my tummy are the baby. But every time we go to the doctor and have an ultrasound, the heart is beating and Baby is moving. And I still feel sick to my stomach pretty much every day - not that that means everything is okay, but it does mean that I'm still pregnant! Hormones. Gotta love 'em. (Or not.)
*We are happy that half-way is almost here. Woo hoo!
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