prayer

I wrote this earlier today:

"In prayer, God not only fully understands every word in every language, but also the details behind each word, even if we don't feel it is sufficient. He even takes into accound the hearts' cries behind the words and hears what we are not even able to express -- and when we intercede for another our inadequate prayers are heard and understood and adequate answers are given...

"What I'm really trying to say is that Rahel's prayer for me, in Swiss-German, was fully understood by God even though I didn't get a thing, save a few words here and there -- and although she doesn't know the details or even the magnitude of what she was asking for me, God heard what she said, understood, sees the situations for what they are and knows her heart in desiring to intercede. We don't have to 'get' it all -- giving all is all we need."

Prayer is a demonstration of hope. Hope is usually a good thing. Except sometimes when I have a crazy desire to pray and keep praying, and then it feels like a weight on my soul and my shoulders (and, believe me, I already have enough knots as it is!) -- especially when I find myself unable to pray as I feel He deserves or desires. But I keep going, attempting to remain aware, and letting God find me, grab my attention and sit me down for a chat if that's what He wants. I can't describe in words my need to pray, but I know it's there. I don't really have a clue what prayer is or what it does, but I'm driven toward it. I haven't really seen miracles in prayer, but I naively believe in its power anyway. (*shrugs*)