i saw a squirrel this morning.
you wouldn't think it was so significant, unless i told you why. i think squirrel watching/chasing is one of my favorite pastimes. i remember staring out my bedroom window from the house on alpine drive watching them fly up the trees. they're great! even the stubby tail one -- he was around the neighborhood for a few years.
i've never seen one here in buesingen, or in europe, which was surprising to me. taking note of this last fall, i remember mentioning their seeming lack of existence here and missed them. weird, i know, but true. this morning, i have to say, everything in the world seemed okay when i was absorbed in squirrel-watching. i forgot that it was 7am, that i was tired, alone and that the EuNC clan is ever dwindling. (i can, no kidding, count the campus dwellers on 10 fingers. that's it ... soon to be 8.) i'm used to at least 40.
it's kinda been lonely. kinda makes me want to just pack up and go.
and then in church yesterday, i was thinking about this place, how it's the norm to me now and how i'll miss it and i shouldn't be so quick to wish it away. i don't really even know where i'm going in the next months, but i think this waiting time is kind of a blessing instead. it's hard to leave and waiting to leave is even harder, but slowly i'm getting more and more ready. this is good.
so, my life-in-transition looks like the following: lots of reading, writing letters and emails, waiting for the phone to ring or an addition to my inbox, talking to God about others and trusting Him with whatever will happen in my life, wishing the rain would go away, dreaming about suntans and swims in the Rhine, and fellowshipping with the very few people that are left.
like, tonight, it's 4 of us. dinner, simply for the joy of cooking and then enjoying food and each other. this is my prayer and goal: to spend each day to its fullest. not always accomplish-able, but well worth the effort.
especially when August 20th comes around.
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