bedrest week 1

so it's Friday. glorious day. they say it's as hot as you-know-what outside and i believe it. i'm content to not sweat and instead look at the leafy goodness outside my window waving in the breeze. it's also so good because it's the hubby's day off. and so is tomorrow. and so is Sunday.

(shout out to my good, good man: he's been amazing this week. i love him so much.)

and almost end of bedrest - week 1. lots of things to be thankful for. not to mention - she's a week older! so many good people all ready wanting, offering, willing to help. to bring food on his long days, to check in to let the Jackson boy outside for a potty break, to put dishes in the dishwasher and clothes in the closet and sweep hairs and dust off the floor. and there are those who can offer encouragement - like Skyping for a couple hours to take my mind off things.

and she's still inside me. and she is still kicking me. and i'm so glad it's not winter - because just as it is getting dark outside, it's my bedtime (yes, i like to sleep!). it's not 4:30pm and dark, it's 9:00pm and dark. thank you God, that it's not winter. the trees are full and pretty outside my window too.

and you know what else? i feel okay. this has been the best part to think about. i cannot reiterate or explain HOW HARD it is to feel deathly sick and be confined to bed because of it and not. be. able. to. do. anything.

except get sick. and cry. and get sick again.

i really can do a lot with my time. the comparison is like night and day. and i can focus on doing this for her. not surviving that for me.

***

will i feel like this is 5 weeks? doubtfully. will i ache to miss his 30th birthday in ohio when i've been looking forward to going for months? most definitely. will i keep going? yes, yes, and yes.

Jesus, have mercy.