First world problems.

I was bored the other day. I even hate saying that I was bored, because you might say, "Well, what's your problem?! Use your time wisely. Make the most of what you have, for heaven's sake!"

And I'd say, "Well, it was a bored/restless feeling." I was stressed out about the job situation (lack thereof), feeling a little down, needing a pick-me-up or something. There were still several hours before Jeremy would make it home (in fact, I think he'd just left) and I needed to get the girl and myself out of the house.

So. I went shopping.

Before I even left the house, I knew going shopping wouldn't make me happy. I knew it wouldn't make me feel better. I knew it wouldn't satisfy me. But, knowing all of this, I still charged right through - ignoring my feelings - for some retail therapy. Knowing I really should sit with it and relax and maybe go for a walk, I went ahead, hopped in the car, and drove away to look at furniture, rugs and vases.

It didn't help.

Funny, how I did it anyway. Funny how I shop instead of think. Shop instead of feel. This is so ... "consumeristic" of me. So typically female. So American.

I normally avoid this, but I fell right back into the easy way and old habits die hard.

I ask myself, "Is this the example I want to be setting for my child?" (No.) "Is this what I want her to turn to when she's feeling down?" (No.) "Is stuff really going to make anything better?" (No.)

Is this how I want to live my life?

No.

******

Hop on over to Rage Against the Minivan and read this funny and insightful post about raising kids in the first world. It's something I think about quite often and have no idea how I am going to accomplish raising my children in our world of stuff and more and more stuff, but I'm going to try. More on this to come.