on saying no

We've had to say no several times lately.

I promised my husband that I'd strip my schedule down to almost nothing in order to attempt to get us through this last hairy semester - and I've done it. The days are mine, but my hope is that weeding out the unneccessaries in my schedule will at least lower my stress level ... in hopes to better balance out his. (?)

(Of course, this said after a full week of sick, whiny child - stressful to say the least ... but I digress.)


But I hate saying no. I'm a helper and a doer and, dang it, I like saying yes!

When I say no, I feel all sorts of silly things like guilty and "what are they thinking of me?" and "wouldn't I want them to help me?"

FALSE.

Why does such a small word - one so easily blurted a million times out of a toddler's mouth - become so hard for some of us to say? Even for our own good and for the health of our family?

Granted, I think it has to do often with personality. My husband has no problem saying no to things and he doesn't care one whit what someone else thinks. This has helped me fight my natural inclination to 1) say yes and 2) feel bad for saying no.

But honestly? It's just not possible for me to live my life simply unless I say no. Over-commitment, busy schedules, running here and there and there and here ... it's just really common for Americans. I suppose it makes us feel worthy and successful and like we're not just sitting on our hands waiting for something to come to us. Carpe diem, right?

Lately, the busyness of some lives has blown me away and I. don't. want. it.

But this requires saying no.

To good things.

A lot.

source

But you know what I've seen in just the last month of practicing this? I've been able to say yes more during my day and it has been freeing. See a friend, cuddle a newborn, make cookies and lick beaters with my little.

(Just like decluttering my home gives space for things that I really love.) 

Open schedules = lives open to opportunity. Opportunity unseen without space in my life. May God allow me to see beyond myself (and what I want to fill my freer days with!) and fill it with His abundance.

shop updates (Jan)

I've been working hard to update my shop (yay!) finally, after all of the Market/holiday/catch-up-my-lifeness of the last few months. I've put tons of patterns on ... gotten several new kiddo pieces and put a few things on that have been sitting around for ages. Discipline, people.

I told myself I couldn't go thrifting, not even for a second, until everything was listed. IT'S DONE! (And yes, I've gone thrifting.)

Check out the shops to see any of the items below and more! (vintage baby/kid, handmade/vintage housewares)

:-)

DIY kitchen pegboard

SUPPLIES:
1 painted pegboard (2'x4')
1 assorted pack of pegboard hooks (including screws and plastic spacers) 

TOOLS:
drill & bits
stud finder
measuring tape

Side note: I'm taking this time to show off my finally completed table makeover. Chairs! A very exciting Christmas present from my in-laws.

I wanted to do mis-matched antique and vintage chairs but looked all last summer and had no luck. I'm really loving industrial lately, so I went for some metal bistro chairs. Delight!

Back to the pegboard.

First I found the middle of the wall, the middle of the pegboard and found the studs. In our house, this is easy ... you just look for the pattern of nail bulges up the wall (yuck). Otherwise, use a stud-finder.

The pegboard holes are exact inches apart, so make sure you are on a perfect inch when you drill into the studs and it should line up just right! (If you want to hang very heavy items - like cast iron skillets - you may need to build a frame and secure the pegboard better. For my little vintage items, this way is fine.)

Then, I slipped the spacer between the wall and the pegboard on the screw and drilled the screw in.

Side note: my studs didn't line up with the middle of the wall, so my pegboard is centered but one set of screws are 10 pegs in and the other is 7. No big deal. After everything is up, you don't really notice anyway.

Now it's time to hang 'til your heart's content! I LOVE vintage utensils and several were just hanging out in my cupboards waiting for a good idea and then BAM!

Pegboard.

And the "EAT" sign I grabbed from above my kitchen sink, hung it with a plastic anchor I shoved in one of the holes and I love it about 1000x more here. 

Cheers!

"...vague, indefinite riches..."

I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual. It is surprising how contented one can be with nothing definite – only a sense of existence. My breath is sweet to me. O how I laugh when I think of my vague indefinite riches. No run on my bank can drain it, for my wealth is no possession but enjoyment. If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet smelling herbs – is more elastic, starry and immortal – that is your success. (Thoreau)

Less is More {book recommend!}

 I picked up a book at the library, Less is More (by Andrews/Urbanska), that is a compilation of essays on Simplicity. It's not a profound concept written, but reading this book urged me in the direction of writing about a simpler life again using some quotes from the material.

And it introduced me to Thoreau. I've obviously not had enough Thoreau in my life. (Currently catching up on a few of his books and essays!)
 

source

Here's a quote from the preface:

 “What do people involved in the Simplicity movement do? 

Usually people have focused on individual actions: reducing 

spending so they can work less and have more time for the things 

that are important to them. Thus, a life with less – less work, less 

stuff, less clutter – becomes more: more time for friends, family, 

community, creativity, civic involvement. Less stress brings more 

fulfillment and joy. Less rushing brings more satisfaction and 

balance. Less debt brings more serenity. Less is more.”

As I read this book, I was struck with how the gospel corresponds to so many ideas (and ideals) of living life with sustainability, stewardship and simplicity. The quote above reminds me of John's gospel quote (3:30) "He must become greater; I must become less." It's not the same context, but the concept is brilliant. A life with less stuff leaves room for community. A life with less of me, leaves more room for Him. Ironic, I know. A paradox that still baffles me sometimes.

Materially, less is more. 

Spiritually, less is more.

_______________________________________________________________
(... it's encouraging to know that I'm not the only one thinking about, writing about or trying to live this out ... check this recent blog post out - it's good!)

Check out my previous series on simplicity: living simply, decluttering, repurposing, food, time, conclusion. 

OR-GAN-IZE (toddler clip organizer)

One of my goals is to live well in our (small) space. If I am going to achieve this, I need to be intentional about organization and the stuff we own. I started thinking about it last fall, but with all of my fall activities and then the holidays, it's been pushed to the cliched January.

Oh well. Better than never.

We've sold several things on Craigslist, gotten rid of a bunch of unused/unneeded clothing, books, decor items and STUFF. I have a plan for every room of the house, actually and will share as I go, but here's a little corner for now.

I was tired of looking at my three-year old's clip corner. It was just kind of a mess. So, I took an extra barnwood frame, some picture hanging wire and a stapler and made a little clip organizer for her.

Yes. I can breathe now.

Much better.

1970s Wool Maxi Skirt to Winter Plaid Pillows

My grandma has been downsizing and cleaning out her closet ... from the 1950s-1980s! I haven't been able to wear or keep everything, but I have several gems that I'm so excited about (remind me to show you the black velvet 50s dress!).

This 1970s handmade maxi was one that I loved, but, alas, can't wear. It was slightly too tight around the waist and slightly too short. (We tall ladies often run into that problem!) You can hem a skirt, but it's hard to make it longer. Anyway, right away I loved the plaid and decided that it would make cozy fall/winter pillows. (I know, another pillow, excuse my sewing skills - or lack thereof...)

Pillow forms were on sale at the craft store, so I grabbed a 14x14 and a 16x16 form with a Christmas giftcard. I've found that the loose stuffing makes sorta lumpy pillows - does anyone have any pointers in using it? I have lots that I've thrifted but lumpy pillows aren't exactly pretty.

Anyway. Here they are!

I ended up cutting the fabric poorly (use your rotary cutter and mat!), so I cut the 14x14 twice and then didn't have enough for my full second pillow. So, I cut the pillow on a seam and actually really love it.

 And, the back of the larger pillow I matched with some upcycled (formerly the inside of another pillow) fabric. It works.

And, I think I'm going to recover our headboard with dropcloth for a more neutral backdrop to work with. What do you think?

Why I'm Not Teaching My Child to Read {yet}.

I've not set out to make my child a genius.

I've known this from the time I was pregnant, I wasn't going to push her to be an overachiever. To be impressively smart, for me to brag about her genius. What's the point? She needs to be allowed play, a childhood. She has plenty of time to study - years of her life in education - years that I'm not beginning just yet.

(And, if you wanted me to brag on her, there are so many other things I could tell you!)

It's like there is this unspoken rule in today's North American culture - "you must be a really good mom if your child can count and read and write, so push them! the younger the better and more impressive!" At least that's how I've felt.

Well, frankly, I don't care.

I could care, except I pretty much gave up pushing her from day one. My daughter's personality helps me realize, when she is ready, she will be ready. And not one day sooner. (Trust me.)

And it's not like I just ignore every part of learning - she knows her colors and can count to 8! Ha. She can get dressed, pick up toys, feed the dog and herself. She won't go to kindergarten until she's almost 6, so I figure if I start with letter recognition and writing around the time she turns 4. If she's interested. And even then, I think the best way of learning is incorporated into play - which is exactly why I love Montessori activities. They feel like play with an educational tweak.

I don't WANT her to read at age 3-1/2. I want her to be little. To say words wrong. To learn sometimes just by default - truly, it is amazing how much she takes in without me pushing?

A friend recently told me that there is a marked difference between kindergarteners who attend school half days and whole days, but by the end of first grade, they are basically at the same level. Interesting.

I'm not worried and I am choosing to continue not to be.

***************

I guess the biggest reason behind this stems from desiring a life of simplicity. I intend to write about simple living from several perspectives in the coming months, but it just seems like so much pressure for a mom to have super "smart" children. Pushing, pushing, overscheduling, a thousand activities, know your letters, know your numbers, go - go - go. It doesn't feel free or peaceful or simple to me.

Time for play, space, experiencing nature and un-pressured learning in a home environment (how to interact with each other, cooking with each other, independent play, etc.) sounds much less pressured. And that's the path I choose.


"The most important skills that children everywhere must learn in order to live happy, productive, moral lives are skills that cannot be taught in school. Such skills cannot be taught at all. They are learned and practised by children in play. These include the abilities to think creatively, to get along with other people and cooperate effectively, and to control their own impulses and emotions." source

a DIY montessori weather learning tool

I wanted to make my 3-year old something fun and inexpensive but educational for Christmas. Inspired by this Etsy shop item I forged ahead with making my own felt weather tool for the side of the refrigerator. (Speaking of fridges, have you seen the SMEGs? My dream home is just begging for one...)

Back to the magnetic felt weather tool. I sewed a heavy duty magnet from the craft store into the backing piece before I sewed on the fronts and stuffed them. 

 My favorite piece was the snowflake.

After printing off a snowflake pattern, I placed the paper on the felt and sewed back and forth with a contrasting thread (as you can see, the lines aren't perfect) until all the lines were "drawn". Then, I carefully ripped the paper off - it is easy as the lines are all perforated and just peel off. Sweet!

"Raindrops keep fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'..."

 I ran out of magnets for the lightning, so instead of running out to buy another whole package, I just snipped a piece of velcro (the rough side) and sewed it to the top. It sticks to the back of a cloud or another piece to wait for the rare thunderstorm. (It does leave a bit of a mess pulling away from the felt, but since it's so infrequently used, I'm not too worried about it.)

There you have it! Teach your child about weather observation and have fun while you go!

Cost: approx. $4-5 including tax (or less if you use a coupon!)
felt sheets (7 @ $0.25)
stuffing (already had)
magnets ($2.49 - set of 8)

DIY Industrial Curtain Rod (under $30!)

Next up, some "industrial" magic!

In November, we got new windows. (*ensue uproarious applause*) Many thanks to our complex and Windows World for their decision to replace the heavy, gunky, leaky (nasty) windows from 1988. 

However, one slight hiccup in the whole replacement process... We have gotten by with a tension rod hanging our bedroom curtains for 4 years. The trim they placed around the windows to seal them up stole that space and made the tension rod unusable. 

Well, darn, I guess I'll have to come up with a DIY solution ... insert DIY Industrial Curtain Rod!

This project definitely was not a lowest-cost-ever DIY. You can definitely find a curtain rod for less than $30. But, if you are going for a certain look (i.e. industrial), it's just gonna cost a little more.

I followed this tutorial but decided to do my own DIY to improve on some of the questions I had along the way.

SUPPLIES:
**from the plumbing section of the hardware store: 2 floor flanges, 2 (90 deg) elbows, 2 nipples (all the same size - I wanted to do 1/2" and it may've proved slightly cheaper, but I wanted it then, so I got what they had - 3/4")
**from the electrical section of the hardware store: one (1) 10 ft length of 3/4" electrical conduit pipe
**from IKEA (or other store with a curtain section): a set of clippy curtain rings

TOOLS:
Screw driver, drill & bits, hack saw (or pipe cutters), #10 phillips screws (mine were 1-1/2" long) and drywall anchors. 

First, I measured and marked where I wanted the flanges to go. (The galvanized metal made quite a mess of my wall where I scooted it around. Beware!) You'll notice that I didn't 1) put them all the way up to the ceiling (naughty) and 2) placed them just outside the perimeter of my window (also design naughty) so my curtains would close. Because seriously people, my curtains were $40 a panel (wedding gift) and I saw no need to replace them, so I'm working with what I have. Thus, my rod placement.

The huge benefit to this was that I didn't actually need the drywall anchors at all! Every time I pulled the drill away from the hole, I realized that I was pulling away bits of wood. The window frame must've been in just the right spot. Woo hoo!

I installed the first flange with 4 screws. Then, I screwed in nipple 1. I thought this might be difficult, but they have some kind of grease on them, so it was very easy to turn. I just turned until it caught - I didn't try to force it.

Then I washed my hands.

Don't forget to put your first curtain clippy loop on before your elbow! This pulls the curtain around to the side so you don't have that annoying light coming in the side of your window on Saturday morning.

Well, I have a 3-year old, the sun never wakes me up. What am I saying? 

Then, screw the elbow on just like you did the nipple, except you will have to work with the placement as it needs to be turned toward the opposite side to hold the actual rod.

Assemble other side like the first but do not attach it to the wall.

Then, measure the distance between the installed corner and where you want the other plus about 1/2" - for the rod to slide into the elbow.  Not gonna lie, this part was difficult to get just right (you'll find out why in a moment).

Mark the pipe and start sawing!

Take a break if you think your arm is going to fall off, and when you've finally cut through, congratulate yourself. (OR, if you have more patience, take the measurement to the hardware store and have them cut it with a pipe cutter in two seconds flat.)

Then, see how it fits. Unfortunately, my measurements were slightly off and ... I had to cut another inch off! Gag.

Lesson learned.

I'd suggest doing the next part with another person, because it was tricky to hold everything in place at once. (Plus, if you are just one person, you can't take pictures of the process!)

Grab a ladder or a chair and insert one side of the rod into the already installed elbow. Then don't forget to put the other curtain rings on (!) and slide the other fully assembled (but not installed) elbow on the other side.

While holding it all in place, screw the other floor flange into the wall. The placement of the drill was kind of awkward at this point, so some of the screws were less than straight, but it wasn't terrible and it is still exremely sturdy. Plus, it looks amazing.

There you have it! A DIY industrial curtain rod all your own for less than $30.

Let me know if I missed anything!

Cost breakdown:

10ft (3/4") metal conduit pipe - $3.12
2 (@$2.37) 90 degree galvanized elbows (3/4") - $4.74
2 (@$1.54) galvanized nipples (3/4" x 2") - $3.08
2 (@ $7.69) 3/4" galvanized floor flanges - $15.38
pack of 8 (10x1-1/2") sheet metal screws - $1.18

TOTAL (including tax) = $29.84

plans {2014}

Word(s) for 2013: be generous
 I've found that so many opportunities present themselves to be generous to those around us. And not just with our money or stuff (although that is part of it!) but with our time, our words, our forgiveness ... and, amazingly enough, accepting the generosity of others. 

Favorite book of 2013: Unbroken (Hillebrand) so good! I highly recommend it to anyone! 

Best thing that happened last year: my husband started a new job at NTS that he loves. It's made all of our lives better!

Favorite upcycled project: piano key sunburst mirror 

Favorite furniture makeovers: old tv cart and garage sale chair 


******************************************************************

 Plans for 2014 :-)

Word for 2014: BE
This may sound generic or cliche, but I've really been convicted the last few months that more is not better in many ways for me. Especially when I think about stress, no matter what project or good thing I may be working on, too much stress makes me tense, grumpy and unable to be present in my life. Specifically, my projects and doing (especially for the Market and the holidays - thus, the last 4 months of my life) has really crowded out quality time with my sweet girl. Not that I ignore her, don't get me wrong, but just not enough presence with her. Taking in her sweet, big brown eyes. And she's growing up quickly! Let me not miss it. 

I believe other ways of be-ing will quickly show up as I continue to let go of my expectations of myself and perceived expectations of others, as I try to take in my surroundings and live with mindfulness and simplicity, and as I attempt to better my photography by taking more daily photos and appreciating my life.

Goal 1: Taking better photos

Goal 2: Reading some blogging books and implementing some changes on my blog.
I don't really expect to ever make 100K a year from my blog (yes, some people do. it's nuts). I also don't really want to spend 60-80 hours a week making that happen. But, I do want to be more true to myself on my blog. I'm not just about decorating, vintage stuff, and makeovers (although I love all of those!)... but thinking deeply about issues and philosophies of life. I'll be honest, deep thinking is just more difficult when your time is spent with a three year old (!). But I'm planning to incorporate more justice issues and simple living into my blog to make it a more well-rounded picture of who I am and what I'm learning.

I'm kind of hesitant to start this when I'm in the middle of my thought process, but as my wise husband tells me, "If you wait until you have all your ducks in a row and it's perfect, you'll never start." I believe this to be true. So, bear with me as I make changes this year and feel free to interact in the comments! I'd love to hear from you.

Speaking of which, what are your plans for 2014?

Empty ribbon rolls? Make pom poms!

(Okay, so I lied about being off here until January. I just had a little project I needed to share!)

What happens when you use up all the ribbon from your rolls? You toss them right? (Into the recycling bin, I hope. But if it's the trash, I won't judge you too harshly.)

Instead, here's a super simple project that only takes a couple of things, and you can reuse these ribbon rolls! (Original tutorial came from here.) BAM!

You need: empty ribbon rolls, fluffy yarn, thin yarn (optional), scissors.

Instructions: Pull apart ribbon roll, use scissors to roughly widen the hole to 1". Pull about 7-10 arm lengths of yarn from ball, put both circles together and feed full length of yarn through hole. Continue wrapping yarn through hole and around outside - at least one time around or twice for a fuller pom. Cut ends of yarn, then slide scissors between ribbon roll circles and cut away yarn. Take a small piece of thinner yarn and slide between circles. Tie a knot. Then cut away or slide used ribbon roll circles off.



And your pom is made! This takes a little bit of time, but not too much thought or skill after you get the hang of it.

And how gorgeous is this little puff of wintry goodness?

I made mine into a garland (like the previous tutorial) using glittery gold snowflakes to hang in the space above our headboard. And I love it!

Happy re-using!